The room grew quiet,
My heart dropped into my stomach,
And my heart did break a thousand times over.
I could no longer hear my mother’s voice,
I felt numb, angry, depressed, sad,
I had a feeling this would come,
I had denied it to myself over and over,
I knew she was sick.
For days, I told myself I was overreacting,
Of course I would assume the worst,
I’m a nurse.
I started to run every possible if, but, and, or question in my mind.
Slowly her voice came back into tune,
My grandmother has CANCER,
How did this happen?
Why her?
Are they sure?
Such a beautiful woman, who always gives of herself and asked for nothing in return.
She has been my hero for some time,
The only grandparent I've ever had.
Not because she chose to be,
Such a tiring and incredible task to be the only grandmother for 9 grandchildren.
My father had lost his mother at 14,
His father had no interest in him or us,
and my mother’s father was nothing of a man,
someone who ruined lives.
Why her?!?
She’s always been a strong woman,
Had already faced death a few times over.
Tears, tears, and more tears.
Confusion, more anger, in disarray as I sat there wishing I could do more,
Wishing I could take her burden,
I can hear mom crying now.
I’m a blubbering mess,
Feeling useless and so far away.
I beg my mother to be strong,
“Do not let her see you cry”,
Yet here I am doing the same.
As the conversation closes,
Anxiety and panic set in,
I’ve been gone for too long,
Though she will not say it,
She wants me home….
Thank you to to my supporters and those who read what I write...It has been a trying time for me and there is still a long road ahead of me. Only time will tell what the future holds. Please keep my grandmother in your thoughts and hearts!
Much love,
Your Travel Nurse "Nursey"
Wow babe , I don't know what to say to that.
Your pain is palpable, you know where to find me anytime you need a friend.
Glad we met nursey. 😉
Glad to have met you as well! It's good to have all of you in discord ...strength in numbers! ❤️️
This post received a 5% vote by @minnowsupport courtesy of @sammosk from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ). Join us in Discord.
Upvoting this comment will help support @minnowsupport.
This post has been resteemed by @minnowsupport courtesy of @sammosk from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ). Join us in Discord.
Upvoting this comment will help support @minnowsupport.
Congratulations @travelnurse! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPHello, @travelnurse Through your pain. Your writing is beautiful. We are from The Curator. (A Magazine style post on Steemit) We do curating for creative, informative, entertaining, thought filled. Yet undervalued posts. We love your emotionally powerful post. And we feel that it is undervalued. We would like to share it in our magazine. But first, we would like to ask for your permission to add your post to our next issue, With a picture from your post, that we will use as a thumbnail, And we will share a portion of the post gifts, with those posts that we share in that issue. We also feel that your words could offer help to someone who may also be dealing with grief. If you agree to this. Please let us know below this comment. At your earliest convenience.
Thank you. (The Curator) @the-curator
And keep on steeming your beautiful posts
As a nurse, as a person, and as a Steemian I am more than than willing to share this post. If it reaches at least one person and I can help them know that they are not alone, I've accomplished something. I appreciate you taking the time to read.
We thank you for allowing us the great pleasure of sharing your beautiful and heartfelt post. Have a wonderful day/evening.
PostHuntress. @the-curator
💖
💕
I´m so sorry @travelnurse :(
@yusaymon. You have all been wonderful...I am super thankful for the people I have thanks to this platform.
Had to deal with grief last year, there is nothing you can do but ride it out. Nothing prepared me for the dark waves and dark days.
Thanks for the support. I know I'm not alone. I see the pain and fears daily, theres always that want to be able to do more.
This post has received a 1.91 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @hackerwhacker.
You really have a way with words @travelnurse, so poignantly put! Will keep you and your gran in my prayers. Although you see suffering and death daily, it's different when it's someone you love, just hold on to the good memories!
Thank you for your love and prayers. I hold my memories close and dear to my heart. She's an amazing woman, full of love and fight!
I'm here for you if you ever need someone to lean on. <3
Can't be strong all the time. It's okay to cry. <3
Thanks for having the strength to open up and share with us.
I am thankful to have come across you in this data ocean. <3
I am grateful to know you as well. I definitely do not feel alone in this ocean, thanks to people like you.
Grief..... I am so so sorry you are going through this hard time.
Much love, super hugs and more hugs your way!
<3 <3 <3
So good to know you @poeticsnake! We've only just met and you already have a place in my heart. So many hugs and they are so needed....thank you
Nursey nurses nursing nursefully. Thanks for sharing even if it isn't the happiest of topics. I wrote a lot more about depression and anxiety when I first got on the platform, awareness is always needed.
Awareness is necessary. I appreciate you reading, it really isn't an easy topic...was hard to write.
@travelnurse, my thoughts are with you as you are away from family at this time.
Thank you @sumatranate. I really desire to be home, I will have to wait until my contract has ended at my current workplace... hoping to find something close to home.
I know there is never anything anyone can say at a time like this to take away your pain. Cry it out. Write it out. Shout it out. My heart goes out to you and your family.
While the pain lingers, every kind word fills me with hope!!! Thank you for the support, honestly and whole heartedly!