Since I was a small kid I was fascinated by the idea of death. Since I was a christian and a kid, I was never afraid of it because in my head it meant liberation from this unfair world. Never had I thought of suicide though. While growing up I would see people cry for people they lost and I would always think the same thought.
"They shouldn't crying. They should be happy for having them, not sad for losing them."
As I grow up I still believe I am not afraid of death. I will be sad if one of my own people die, but I will know to be happy for the times we had together. In spite of that, I can also understand the evolutionary trait of being afraid of dying. It is a defense mechanism that all lives have which will kick in, once my end is near. And I have been close to death. I remember trying to climb a small but horizontal dirt cliff, and I remember my hands slipping while I have nowhere to grab. Then red letters role in front of my eyes.
"DO SOMETHING OR YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!"
That was the moment my hand started digging to get a grip, and then somehow I reach the top. I don't remember how. Turns out it wasn't that tall of a hill, which meant I wouldn't have died even if I fell, but I do have a case of fear of heights so that's what my brain was telling me. Now you might be wondering, why would a person with fear of heights, climb a hill. Well, I'm stupid like that. I like to be afraid since it's not a feeling I get often. Anyway.
Back to the previous points, a human being is never truly ready to die. Right at the end, this defense mechanism gets activated and you have no choice but to fear and try to avoid death. So in this case there is nothing left to do but to crawl for your survival. If you are strong enough you will embrace the last moments and be happy for whatever you did in life. This is much easier if you don't have any regrets. It is important in life, to not regret anything you do. If you do something wrong, fix it. If you did someone else wrong, apologize. But never regret anything. Never carry guilt. That is the way to die happy. And in the case of most religions, if you carry no regrets or guilt then there is no hell for you, so if you are a religious person, hey it's a good situation for you.
Now what if it is someone close to you that died. That case is actually a bit more complicated. You need to have control over your feelings. Dictate whether it is ok to cry for a few moments, but then be happy for whatever you had in life with this person. You can even choose to be angry if that life ended through some unfair deeds. But the point is to choose. Usually people use their emotions to guide their actions, but do not use their brains to guide their emotions. Because remember, if you believe that this dead person is alive somewhere else, then you better believe that they don't want you to be sad for their death.
Also you have to remember the ones that are still alive. This was actually told to me by a ghost I saw in a dream.
"Love the ones that are still alive while there is time, instead of crying for the ones who have died."
Yes, I sometimes get advises from ghosts in my dreams. Is that a problem? Good. So, example time again. One good night while I was about to leave with my friends I found my cat dead in the side of the road. I am a very sensitive person when it comes to animals. So I got angry, started shouting and crying because to me someone not only murdered it, but just left it there. Without any traces of it being hurt. That means whomever hit it could have taken it to the vet. But anyway, not the point. The point is I chose to feel that way. I wanted to. It seemed right. But after a while I stopped being sad and angry, because I was going out with my friends. I was going to go and enjoy my night. I chose to then be happy again. And what do you know, I actually enjoyed my night. Once I got back I found the courage to bury it. I had left him next to a tree somewhere out of anyone's sight, and since hours had passed and he was still dead, that meant, he would remain dead. I picked up a shovel and buried him. But I wasn't sad. I was done with that. I was still happy. And it wasn't me suppressing my feelings. It was me choosing what to feel.
Of course this is no where near to losing your mother, thankfully my mother is fine. But even if that is your case, you should train yourself to choose your feelings on this matter. Feelings come from the brain, thus can be controlled. So control them, guide your feelings depending on what you believe is the right thing to feel. Do not give in to your emotions. Be what you want to be.
I think I made the point I wanted to make. And I hope this helps you out if the moment ever comes. I wish you luck in life. Once again I am Tsinik and I hope I have provided good reading material. It would really be appreciated if you checked out the rest of my articles. Thank you.
TnkTheories:
- What is Time
- Time Travel (linear time)
- Cats and Pharaohs
- How to be Happy (this is an important article)
- Afterlife Explanation
TnkSecurity:
TnkLife:
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I hope my posts can be helpful. Since I am a science person most of my posts are about science stuff. But I do try to post things like these once in a while. Thanks for the support. :)
A rather taboo subject within the society we've created. Thanks for your wise insights here.
I do believe we should all help each other. Especially people on the internet, who have grown to be mentally weak. That is why I am trying to teach others what I've been taught in life.
Nice post and good insights.
"Love the ones that are still alive while there is time, instead of crying for the ones who have died." That summarizes it all...when everyone realizes that one thing, we will be going after more 'time' rather than gadgets! (more than chasing money, these days, people are killing their time on gadgets (xboxes/smartphones/TVs/etc)).
Even when loved ones are gathered, these days, they seem to be glued to to pixel screen and missing out on the nature, family, life in general.
I wonder, we might come to a place where there will be apps to console people instead of people giving shoulder...that would be truly sad moment.
Reminder of 'death' once a while is a good wake up call to take inventory of what is 'real' vs. 'fake'...
thank you for the reminder...upvoted
Thanks! And I was honest about it being said to me by a ghost in a dream :P the best advice I ever get I get from ghosts in dreams :P it works tho
source is not relevant...message is!
We all fight about the 'source' while we never live upto the message...as long as you are taking the message to heart!
And, extra points for sharing it with us here!
Great read considering the recent death in my family
I wish you the best of luck, and I wish this article helped a bit.
Thank you!
I think of death as a 'calming of the waters' ... your life can be seen as a pebble being dropped into a pond, it'll make ripples and eventually over time the waters will settle and it'll appear as if you were never there. Make your mark, enjoy your time in the sun and know there is an end just as there was a beginning.
To acknowledge the passing of a loved one is a really important phase in your life which you mustn't forego. Being present at their funeral is the only way you can accept that you've said your goodbyes and it's truly time to move on. Anything else will leave you with lingering thoughts and regrets ...not healthy.
Yes, but after the funeral instead of crying for this person you can go have a beer and a laugh in his/her memory. :)
indeed!
Hello @tsinik I hope you enjoy your time here, its a great community :) Nice post, i will follow your account, please follow me at @khunfarang
Great post :) very interesting !
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Welcome and Thank You for being with us!! Following your Blog now
Welcome and Thank You for being with us!! Following your Blog now