All you say is true. I had to leave Bear in a local kennel overnight when I drove to Gotham to see the cardiologist, as it would have been cruel to leave Bear trapped in my truck for 6 - 8 hours. I missed him poignantly that night. Dogs are the best people I have ever known, to be honest. I like him.
However, before all this excitement I didn't even want to undertake responsibility for a houseplant. I actually have a plastic one, that was my pretense to greenery in my home. Just a bit before these events, Turmeric I had planted in spring in pots outdoors sprouted after 4 months and I needed to move them inside or the cool weather would kill them, and I had to accept the responsibility of houseplants. Now Bear adds immeasurably to my responsibilities and loss of fancy freedom I was previously availed.
I literally had designed my living circumstances so that I could simply abandon all I owned without regret and radically change to adapt to what I saw as paradigm transcending global events oncoming. We see today I was perhaps underdelivering in my predictions, sadly.
The fact is I am not concerned for my loss of his companionship. I did not expect it, and had expected to endure the rest of my days without that wonderful boon. As dear as it is to me, my responsibility is to Bear. I cannot again run the woods and out-endure Elk as a hunter in good fettle can. I cannot spare the days and treasure to hunt birds as Bear's fulfillment of his destiny requires of his owner.
I would despise me were I to abuse Bear to reduce him to my emotional support while depriving him of fulfillment. I love and admire him far too much to even consider it. I have reduced my possessions to the minimal necessary as a weapon against those that prey on men profitably. Banks and criminal cartel institutions/government have by fraud and violent thuggery stolen hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of property from me in my life [not taxes and fees, but actual criminal fraud and violent armed assault, using my wealth as bait to corrupt those I trusted to betray me], and should such institutional predation be again attempted against me, the possessions and treasure I presently possess are such that gaining them will actually effect a financial burden, which utterly discourages such predation.
Bear deserves to hunt and be that critical part of his pack. I cannot meet his needs. I couldn't bear the revulsion I would feel for me if I selfishly kept his love at the cost of his own quality of life, even if he would never know.
Tom himself may not understand this about Bear. I still owe my friend my best judgment regarding Bear's care and quality of life.
I know.
For that companionship, I have a couple massive pots of Turmeric =p.
Thanks!
Thank you for that avalanche of insight, empathy and information concerning your personal circumstances. I understand your point not to keep Bear. I hope he will find the right house to live a proper dog life. My best wishes go to you and your friend at the hospital. Stay strong.