I very much relate to your description and primordial sense of disturbance. I have felt that inchoate horror at the reality I found myself in, under circumstances that were literally the destruction of everything I held dear.
We either survive catastrophes, or we do not. If we succumb, we no longer suffer. If we survive, we either become mentally incompetent because we cannot parse reality, or we overcome our horror, angst, and fear to react to environmental stimuli and take action to improve our circumstances as we are able. I have done the latter, and after the personal destruction of my life I have endured, I am not horrified at enemedia propaganda, although I am frightened enough to get angry about it.
Anger is the child of fear, and it is an emotion that prompts us to take action to protect ourselves from what we fear. We should all become angry enough to take nominal action to eliminate the threats that cause us fear. For me, the worst threat to the people of my country, my ethnic heritage, my sons and family, neighbors, and friends, is the rule by blackmail Mossad is exercising by controlling child molesters in public office, like Trump, today. I suspect that is a primary threat to produce whatever harms you fear most, too. When we overcome our fear to give rational thought to ending the threats, we can take action, and when we do this together we can succeed.
That is the best consideration and advice I have.
Thanks!