Hello! I have not written here for more than 5 months. I had a very important reason. I would not want this to happen. I painted this drawing 5 months ago, two hours before my life changed forever. I left for the weekend, because I wanted to relax alone and paint. At this time, my husband went to the doctor because my husband felt pain in his stomach. A terrible diagnosis is cancer of the stomach ... oh god. It was so scary.
I have not painted since then ever again. I devoted all my time to my husband and his medical treatment. Together we fought with his illness. It was very hard and scary. It’s hard for me to describe this period. Doctors did not give good predictions - too aggressive stomach cancer. It really is. Less than a year ago, my husband examined the stomach and everything was ok. My husband was rapidly losing weight. He could not eat more than one spoon. I also could not eat, because I was too nervous and hard.
I also had to work in the office all this time ... My bosses knew about our trouble, so I could go with my husband to hospitals and chemotherapy. I also had to work in the office all this time ...
At first, we had a hope that the husband would undergo surgery - they would remove the stomach ... But then his analyzes showed multiple metastases in the bones, and two months later in the abdominal cavity.
My husband died in my arms in early August .. I heard his last breath and a beating of the heart. It was too scary, too painful, too fast. I told him your pain was over. And my pain continues. He was 42 years old and I dreamed of meeting old age with him. Now I stayed with our daughter and father-in-law.
We are all trying to overcome our grief.
I had to do a lot myself. In addition to me, my husband has only an old father with sore legs and blind eyes. Some people told me that I was a good wife, but I only did what I had to do. I met many good people who sympathized with me or offered help. And also I met a lot of good doctors. I understand that the doctors did everything they could ...
Now my daughter and I are learning to live anew ...
I am so sorry to hear that, that is a very sad situation and I feel for you. I remember that your husband was such a kind person who was very supportive of your art and bought you your drawing tablet. I told you that your loving relationship with him made my heart feels warm ... and now he is no longer here, that is so sad.
I am glad that you managed to show us this painting, what a cute doggo and I like how you painted its brown fur.
I hope arting and blogging will make the pain goes away somewhat. Hugs to you and your daughter as well.
<3
I'm so glad to see you dear @scrawly ! I remember your nice comments about my family. I am so sorry that so far I can’t start drawing.
My daughter and I are going to buy a York puppy. I hope that a puppy will help us survive our grief and I will start writing more often here. And also I want to start painting again.
Hug! Thanks for the support my friend!
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Wow... he was only a year older than me. So young...
I'm terribly sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you can pick yourself up and resume living. Best wishes for you and your daughter, too.
Yes, this is a terrible disease that is aggressive for young people and it is very scary :(
Thanks for the support, I am very glad to see old friends on my blog.
Hello!
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:( I am just reading this now (so please ignore my other comment)
I lost my mother less than six months ago... but it's a different situation for you...
I am sorry for your loss, friend...
Everything is fine, my friend (I'm talking about other comment). I returned to start painting, writing, joking again. It distracts me from my sad thoughts.
I'm sorry for your loss too... :(
I am so sorry to hear about your loss! I'm sure you've heard that from a lot of people, and I hope you're able to take some comfort in it.
Hopefully your art will help you begin to be able to heal, on your time, when you are ready. Only when you are ready.
Thank you very much for your kind words of support! My loss is too big, you're right. But I must continue to live on and return to my hobbies.
You've got us all on your side, too. No one needs to be alone.
I don't quite know what to say to you Veta ~ Except that everything in our life needs to be honored. All the joy and all the sorrow. And we all take our solace in different ways, on our personal healing journey.
Scrawly's message reminded me of when he bought you the new tablet and I hope you will always cherish the memories like these of happier times with your husband. I also hope that you will find new meaning in all your relationships and the relationship that you have with your artwork as it will all help in the healing of your whole being. So that you can be there as mother and daughter-in-law and friend to all those who are so dear and close to you. Sending you much love. ♥︎♥︎⚖️♥︎♥︎
Thanks for the kind words dear Alison! I really hope that my healing journey is already beginning, although I still experience the pain of loss and often cry. But I know that then the pain must go away in order to give way to bright memories of the time spent with him.
And I also have to learn digital graphics. My husband dreamed about it and supported me in this.
Yes. Everyone's healing journey is different and we need to be especially kind to the person who knows our needs more than anyone else: Ourselves.
If you are wanting to learn more about digital graphics, I think you could find inspiration and support from some of the digital artists at Makers Place ~ You have to request an invite at the MP discord and the admin will guide you in what you need to do to start setting up your own Gallery there.
Thanks for the link Alison! Oh my god ... I’m so unaccustomed to English, I need time to understand what kind of community it is.
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Dearest Veta, I was missing you for many months, as your talent, artworks and spirits were always such a beautiful presence on Steemit, but now i see the reasons that you were away, and I am very sorry for your loss :(
I remember you often talked about having to work and sometimes having to 'steal' opportunities to do art during your busy time, and then sometimes you'd talk about having attending art classes, or getting art gifts from your husband. He seems to be a loving person, someone who was generous in spirit and who was supportive and warm.
Cancer is a devastating illness :( It is heart-breaking to hear that he has gone from your lives. I'm sending all my hugs to you and to your daughter.
Lovely drawing of this pupper, Veta. I hope to see you post again at Steemit, even if it's just your thoughts, although I do look forward to see you arting again, one day, as well <3
Thank you dear @veryspider! I had to tell why I was gone for so long. It was hard for me to write this post because of my heartache. But it’s so warm for me today from supporting my friends! I realized how much I missed you and my other friends!
There are so many people here, but my friends remember me!
I can’t draw yet, because I spend a lot of time with my daughter in the evenings. And also we plan to buy a puppy and are busy with his choice. But I really want to come back here)
ps I have lost the habit of translating Google that I doubt the correct sentences ..
life takes unexpected paths, everything was and is difficult for you, now you have to be calm and analyze the situation, do not make prescribed decisions, sometimes despair makes us make mistakes, I would like to see you take up your drawings and you can teach Your little daughter, that will do you good, regards
Thank you for your kind words of support! I think that time will pass and I will again start drawing and doing hobbies.
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Светик, какое чудо-чудесное!!!!! Просто прелесть!!!!!! Я про рисунок и пёселя. Да и ты молодчина!!!
Спасибо, Ира! :)