Blue Butterfly

in #life4 years ago (edited)

...What should I say? My life is basically work, eat, basic cleaning/hygiene, anime, sleep. My work is demanding butt boring and nothing creative.
__belldandy_aa_megami_sama_drawn_by_joy_division__2929c94889e6d6ecd4744f9246131b11.jpg
So I'll use sex appeal. If only... The depressing thing is that I would have been 9/10 as a girl and way happier for many reasons. Obviously it would have been better to be born a girl, butt if you gave me the choice now to decide for my 12 year old self, if I wanted to be a newhalf or a man, I'd chose to be a newhalf. Knowing what I know now, the chances of having children with a woman I am actually attracted to is slim unless I strike it rich. I'm 175cm, too short and sickly to be attractive as a man in this country. I literally live for love but have lived without it my entire life. I feel so empty inside. All I want is to be myself and have children with a partner I love, but it seems like such a distant goal. By the way, today I was turned down by a girl who said she was a lesbian—she was probably just lying.