As mentioned in a recent post, "How I'd like to spend the next year..." I have big goals for the year. I want to work on putting on small, informal art/music events in various cities around Asia and connect with different art communities and steemians.
The biggest challenge I face is my self. Some old programming still lingers, a voice inside me that tells me that people won't understand what I'm trying to do, that I won't be able to do things my way, that I'm not good enough at guitar or speaking to a crowd.
I wake up many mornings lethargic. I channel my thoughts to what excites me, and away from any limiting beliefs and do what I need to in order to get back to a state of peace. Usually it only takes a few minutes and putting my fingers to the keyboard to write something (I can feel my state improving as I write this). Other days I start off energized but by the afternoon I feel I have no where to go and feel longing for more direct connection and it sometimes turns to hopelessness. I finish my day rolling around in bed listening (not watching) youtube.
What tires me out? It's that old programming, the belief that what I want to accomplish is impossible, or that it will cost something of me that I don't want to give up. It's doubt, plain and simple.
I'm setting an intention to be full of energy for most of the day, every day. If it takes a change in my habits or daily naps, than I'll adjust. If my body gets tired, I will accommodate it, but I no longer want to accommodate that mood I get in where I don't want to do anything. I want to dig up all those limiting beliefs and throw them in the garbage.
I'm going to need a ton of energy to accomplish what I'd like to accomplish, not only energy to prepare and conceptualize, which is something I'm always good at, but to PRACTICE and NOT QUIT, and most of all, to get in front of people and be able to share with them from a state of excitement and bliss. I'm going to have to become very proficient at manipulating my own vibration, "getting in the zone", being able to control my own emotions, even under unfavorable circumstances because there is no way of knowing what will come up.
I want to be an infinite source of inspiration for others, and this is a perfect excuse to work towards that goal. I'll document the process here in between the other things I'm sharing at steemit. One day when I'm a constant volcano eruption of positivity and excitement, you will be able to look back and see how I got there.
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Confessions of the Damaged - a collection of short stories
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If you like what I do and you have enough to spare, please consider becoming a patron on Patreon or sending some crypto gifts. Feel free to send me a message on discord if you need help raising your vibes or learning a language.
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by @skyleap
Yeah man, I feel you on this one. And I seem to be in a similar situation. Life is asking more from me than I have ever given, and with the unknown comes doubt and fear - old programming.
We are being called forward into our 'true life', and it requires going through the greyness of deprogramming. I believe in you man, and I think if you look back you will see how you have already made a lot of changes despite resistance. It's simply a matter of staying true to the course regardless of mental / emotional constructs trying to pull you in. You are the almighty being! and all such states depend on your attention for sustenance :)
:-D How many times this week did I hear "your vibe attracts your tribe" and it's amazing how the people I find myself talking to are all going through similar things right now. This is going to be quite a challenge but I think I am up for it.
This is me today. 😢
My mum was visiting for a few days and has now left. She's 87 so I always feel concerned when she leaves. I won't see her again until August at the earliest.
I'm in a Steemit trough. Feels like I'm walking through treacle.
Can't find any thoughts that excite me but this too shall pass.
I enjoy hearing your enthusiasm though.
Have a wonderful day @whatamidoing! 😊
I guess I need to step up the enthusiasm until it rubs off! Just take a rest if you need it and get ready to come back stronger!
Sadly things went from bad to worse today @whatamidoing.
Long story short I have lost all the photos from my computer. They were organised in folders so I knew which ones I'd posted and which ones I hadn't.
A lot of them had been edited and resized ready to post too.
I was also without my computer for most of the day but, as it wasn't planned, I wasn't able to relax and enjoy doing something else.
As the day has gone on I've started to accept it and focus on what I'm going to do from here.
Hope you're had a better day!
Perhaps your computer is trying to tell you to focus on the present and forget the past? Hahha is it annoying if I say that?
Not annoying, no @whatamidoing. I had the same thoughts. 😁
I wrote a post about it a couple of hours ago with one of my favourite Byron Katie quotes.
Please have a read if you have time. 😍
https://steemit.com/spirituality/@gillianpearce/arguing-with-reality
@Whatamidoing san : in fact I also suffered from same thing but then I realized something important and then I implemented it to my life and that trait is a habit now.. I can see the difference in energy level that I use to have before and I have now. And that too also with a series of simple exercises to build the momentum.
Control your morning and you will control the day.
Repeat it till you feel good.. I am not saying that keeping the energy level up is possible everyday but the thing is that the day gets busier as it progresses so morning is the best chance. So control the first 2 hrs. 😁
I’m starting to realize that my days go much better if I don’t look at my phone for the first 20 minutes. It seems so easy until I actually try doing it . I think you are very much right about this.
I feel your pain I get that "I don't want to do anything" feeling from time to time. It can be hard to move past but recognizing it as the expression of negativity that it can be is the first step to overcoming it. You seem to be there and that is a great start in reaching the place you want to be.
Also I think I found a picture of you when I was looking for free stock photos on Unsplash.com lol.
Sometimes you really need a rest, but most of the time I think the lethargy comes from struggles inside us that we barely notice.
I can so relate to where you are coming from with this. Sometimes we really are our own worst enemy. I love how're you forcing this on yourself in a positive way and how determined you are to see it materialise. Our thoughts are truly powerful.
I've forced it on myself in more ways than I even realize. The back issues that came up 2 and a half years ago were also a way of forcing me to become who I wanted to become, I was no longer allowed to escape the responsibility of it and take the lazy route. I'm starting to enjoy this whole process though. :-)
Your project sounds pretty cool, can you share more about it? It’s also for me so difficult to complete something even if I’m eager to...let’s practice together then and achieve whatever we will! Looking forward to reading more about your asian project
I linked the post where I first mentioned it. I want to organize some sharing events in Hong Kong, Taiwan, India, Malaysia, Thailand and multiple cities in Japan, and now I'm working on getting my personal shit together and leveling up so I can achieve it as I get the funds together. :-D
Sorry I wan on the phone and I missed the link! It’s an amazing project, go mate!
Man you are looking pumped! Finally a reveal of your true form!
Super saiya pineapple!!!