I don't know what else i can do or have to

Howdy hive peepz.. hope you're all having a great time.. this writing i have right now might not be very appealing and not motivational..i just wanted to write what i feel right now thinking this might help me.. to at least remove the negative part of it..

(i feel like am these chili tree.. still standing but tired .. dry and lost)

This is about motherhood.. i got 3 kids.. a 13 year old boy.. 5 year old girl and the youngest is 3.. it was not always an easy path .. being a mother is not a JUST thing.. it's not an easy journey.. it has always been challenging for me.

I am not sure with others but i think i am more of a disciplinarian or should i say.. a strict mom. Most of the time i punish them to so they would do things needed or what is right for them to do.. but still i am sweet to them.. i kiss and hug them always.. at the end of the day i feel guilty.. i cry amd get sad thinking that i hurt them and if i am doing things right..

The past days my 5 year old has been a challenge.. she's technically a kindergarten student .. and because of the pandemic.. she'll have distance learning or home schooling.. in short.. i'll be her teacher. So last Wednesday we were given sample modules and worksheets for her to do.. tracing , coloring , and writing worksheets.. she won't take 3 minutes on the paper and dont like to do it.. she likes to draw more tham writing.. just minutes ago i tried convincing her to write.. i tried both calm and monster mom mode but both are not effective.. so then i cried.. (LOL) i feel like i wasn't doing the right thing to teach her and help her.. so i prayed too.. for more patience love and understanding..

All i want is for my baby girl to learn and not be left behind.. i wish i can do all for her but that's not okay always.. i have to be tough too for her to know more and do things by herself.. i wish i can be better mom..

'Til next time...

-zephalexia-