Who am I?
Messenger...sent to remind my brothers and sisters that the breath of spirit trumps the fire next time...
I am Unchanging spirit with endless bodies seeking only to let go of the all false narratives that keep me from knowing that I am already perfect...and being purely so...again.
I am Legion and we are many... is just the part of us that had forgotten that we are the same and part of the one...the universal call to the deity within us...the kingdom...the all...breaking off pieces of itself to understand itself again. May we be so fortunate, grateful and humble... to take back what wonders we have done, seen. found and loved ...to whence we come...
What can I do?
I know why the dragons cane to this planet. Dragons (mental illness, gambling, alcohol and the scale winged fiends themselves who would drag us to hell and all points beyond) exist ONLY to be slain. It is a spiritual rite of passage. They came here because we asked them to. When we have collectively passed our initiation to being...MAN...they will return whence they came.
I know there are two gods with many manifestations. There is the Alien god...he from the old testament and there is the Creator god...who sent his ONLY son to help steer us clear of the Alien God and its path.
One has a lake of fire that burned long before this universe was made and the other has a phase of abject loneliness when you/we cut yourself off from the whole..in that brand of hell....it is being absent from his grace and there we burn off the sins not faced and carried with us from this life. Its not that he does not speak to us anymore...its what happens when you stop listening that sends us there. Choose wisely ...
I know...the angels are placed here at our behest. After a massive pulmonary embolism and ending up in intensive care ward...I assigned several angels specific tasks...and one woke me to show me a new iv bottle hanging over my bed. . When I asked the nurse attending what the solution was she told me not to worry for it is something given to diabetics. I told her I was not one. She then explained several other conditions that I must have in order for the medicine to be prescribed. I was none of those things.The I told her that I had had an embolism so should I not be receiving anti clot meds instead of the clearly marked clotting meds? Her face went green under her makeup. She walked over and very calmly pinched the IV hose and disconnected it. Her next phone calls found this to be true...and despite the doctor on the other end insisting on continuing the killer treatment...I got re-evaluated and received the right drugs.
I know the angels of whom you speak.
I know to be careful with the powers we all have..well, that most of us are born with. As a kid I could make my sister do my bidding simply by thinking her into it. As the monstrous part of my nature grew in order to protect myself from mommie dearest... I was forced to lock that part of me away to protect her from the thing in me. I remember less than two years after getting clean...I went hungry for a week. Poor money management. On day seven I walked from 125th street to 42nd street here in the big apple. I knew someone who worked down there who would be there at that time and would feed me and break the fast and thus access to the vault. I had to. The intermittent fast had revealed the gate of power to the monstrous part of my personality. On day 5 of the fast...while balls of mucous from all the dairy products were being eliminated ( after day four there was no solid waste being shite)...I realized that someone from my past...who had hurt me very badly...who had walked off with a precious part of myself that did not belong to him,...could be killed with a thought. It was all I could do to keep the vault closed so something that was only a part of me could not access that power and soil my psyche (it can't touch my spirit) for while the commandment does not say thou shalt not kill...it does say thou shalt not murder. And the distinction is known to me and so for a reason.
I know the beast that lies within...when it shows itself is not meant to be unleashed on the innocent and the undeserving and when it rears its ugly head in such occasions...it brings the gift of understanding. Sometimes the gift is simply to show me just how outside of the present I am living for the two places the god of my understand cannot be found....is the past and the future. The present is just that...a present. The gift I give myself...that keeps on giving. And it is only by being in the present...that I can begin the reclamation process of abandoning the notion of who I think I am and letting go and realizing I already am who I was meant to be and part of that identity is I am me... and we are us. There is no me without true interaction with all my brothers and sisters and we are no one without being one with the all. I know it is so for me and mine. This is not in anyway for those do not want it. I know this and act accordingly. Where humans are concerned...I know...some cannot be led to water...by me....or us.
Not everyone is influenced by the Creator God.
What are my limits?
My insistence on the need for comfort...to shield me from that what can only hurt me if I give it latitude to do so. And I told someone yesterday and meant it...that what marks me is not what happens to me...but how I respond...to what happens to me. This narrative has so got to die.
What are my intentions here?
To find out if there is a place for someone like me. All the places I have felt a part of were lies and the one place where I felt a real kinship no longer exists. War has a way of doing that. I need to explore whether there is a seat for me at this table. That means I must position myself to bring value whilst telling truths about my journey. Better the laughter at some of the places I have been...or am...and refused citizenship than to be given asylum only for the purpose of allowing someone to stand on my shoulders while I drown.
Than you Jerry. Some of what I have exposed...I would never have done so without your example.
I am too much the introvert to have even contemplated risking such exposure so soon . I just got here. Only time will tell if I'll stay.
Peace and blessings be upon you all. Walk humbly...with his grace...
