What I want is to be able to take both the slight and the compliment with the same even tone. I don't worry about someone who would sprinkle salt in my footsteps just to make sure nothing grows there, ever. What I do worry about is the person who is good to me today but somewhere down the line seeks to wound me the way family used to do when I do not do what they want. I need to learn how to deal with that. After all...betrayal never comes from the enemy.
So right now when someone says something to wound or embarrass me...I say to them "That's interesting. Tell me more!'. When they persist I then I say "Hmmm. What makes you feel that way?". And if they get past those two I go to "I see. Do you really believe that?". And at this point after their last response...I nod my head and I disengage.
When I hear a compliment I thank the person or nod my head and if they persist...I tell them that I certainly am a work in progress. I can no longer afford to give anyone that type of power over me. That power is given to me by the god of my understanding...for helping myself and helping others....nit for giving people ammunition so they can feel better at my expense. Like you I work toward being wise in how I deal with all people.
Cheers!