Welcome to HIVE! Be sure to back up your passwords somewhere offline so you don't lose access to your account. I'll delegate some Hive Power to help you get started finding your place in our community here.
I'm afraid I have no words of wisdom to help ease the sorrow of a rough year. It seems anything I say would belittle your grief somehow. It is OK to not be OK. We seem to have a culture of artificial happiness, as if hiding trouble behind a veneer of sunshine and rainbows is supposed to make it all go away.