My philosophy on finding my soulmate was to look for the type of love I wanted and to see where the journey would take me. I never had it in my mind that I would be married by a certain age, wear a certain type of wedding dress, and start having kids at a certain age. I never had my wedding planned out since I've been a little girl.
As I grew up I quickly found out that I am not the norm. I wish I had counted all the times I've heard a woman say she's had her wedding planned out since she's been a little girl. A growing numbers of women are just looking for a man to fill the empty position. They want a man who's going to give them the wedding and children they want. It's become less and less about finding the beautiful love, and more and more about the Pinterest-perfect wedding.
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I've been at that age for a few years now that it's socially acceptable to start getting married. The women around me slowly started to pressure their boyfriends about proposing- some after only two years. Each time I noticed the look of panic and bewilderment on the boyfriends' faces. Is this how we want our boyfriends to feel when we bring up lifelong commitment?
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A wedding in America averages between $25,000-$35,000. I've always wondered how my peers managed to graduate college, throw a wedding, buy a house, buy a new car, and start a new job all in the same summer. (Either debt up to their eyeballs or gifts from mom and dad). I bought a car this year and managed to widdle my college debt down to $16,000, and I still couldn't imagine paying for a wedding anytime soon.
Before you conclude that I'm a cynical spinster who lives with cats, I am happily, madly in love. I was lucky enough to meet the love of my life and have the type of love I've always dreamed about. The commitment is there. I am not talking in the form of an elaborate wedding or three kids. It's in the form of trustworthiness, openness, and patience. While we are starting to receive pressure from our parents about getting married, I don't pressure him to propose.
Is it social media or capitalism that causes this wedding craze? I'm not sure. Either way I am aiming my sights on the love I want to keep for the rest of my life, not the color flowers I want at my wedding, or how many kids I plan on having.
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STOPspoke my mind, awesome post. The social pressures are everywhere around us. Take time to love one another and develop deep meaningful relationship before making lifelong commitments