Though many people believe in the perfect match (not sure if it is 'many' people, but at least I know quite a few people who believe this), my own experience is that this is super hard to find. But to adapt in every way (or sufficient enough) to keep the spark and love going in a RR is mighty difficult. Some (to more) psychologists says: humans, are not made for a single partner. But our culture and in some countries our laws say: Single partner only. Today's culture in my country is to change partners regularly, in series. More than 50% of the marriage break. This was different some time ago, like in the 40s/50s/60s. The culture back then was more like: It's not done to break up. At the same time, the woman in the relationship was not financially independent, so she could not run out. But today, many women are financially independent, and I believe because of that, we see so many breakups. At the same time, we see an enormous increase in people deciding not to go into a traditional RR. I suppose, many prefer not to make all the adjustments needed, and try and live with those adjustments for all the reasons you mentioned. I do wonder how the world will look like let's say 20, 30 years from now. We will see an enormous increase in technology in all aspects, from VR++, to AI with human-like features. Will we be satisfied through technology more and more, and leave the traditional RR behind us? With the ever-growing number of singles, I can imagine the RR will fall apart into friends with benefits and friends ending up in having multiple partners, but in a modern sense, ie not through traditional RR.
Nice analysis and good sequel of the post; I might include "read edjes.s comments for more info" in my posts ;)
If we are to say that there is something as perfect match, that is reserved only for the time of being in love, relatively short time at the beginning of the relationship. If we put aside disappointments after realizing that other person is not as we imagined it (idealized it) and assume that we are really perfect match, what will spoil that feeling is time. Everything that lasts changes and after some time our "perfect" relationship does not feel like that. Eventually, everything becomes boring, even most exciting thing, even if the thing itself did not change.
I will not go through the reasons why our cultures prefer single partnership but focus on the individual. From bio-psy point of view we can say that humans are not made for this or that but irl we see that they are, meaning, using our consciousness and will we can decide to try to overcome some characteristics biologically given or adopted during life.
As you said, modern way of life and development of tech had bid influence on relationships. One is that ppl are lately not willing to devote to themselves (so many escapist activities), let alone to someone else; ppl became spoiled, want everything here, now and without effort, without frustrations; want someone to make effort for them but when it comes to investing themselves in other person find it frustrating and too difficult. Adults started behaving more like children :) which is sign of emotional and social immaturity, sometimes serious impairment. Also important thing of this kinds of behavior is choice paradox, which is topic for itself, one of many on my list, waiting to be written, aside with influence of AI :)
You post (well, more like 'articles') can't be left with a simple response. It would not credit your work it deserves 😉
Fully agree wrt Perfect match for most people are the butterfly days. But I was refering those people who believe there is a perfect match around, which will stay more or less perfect till end of times.
I've seen at least one couple being a perfect match. Sure, they may have had their differences, and surely they had to adjust to stay this perfect match. Somehow they did. This couple were my grandparents. Married for more than 70 years. As long as I know them, I've seen them always with each other. They always helped each other. At one stage he could watch the TV so good anymore, and she started to forget things. She became his eyes, and he became her memory. All in perfect harmony. As if they were one. When she died, he wanted to die immediately. That didn't happen so soon, but not too many years after, also he went, but that is beside the point :) I wish for everybody to have such a relathionship with their partner. But I know, many don't have them like they did.
Agree with you completely reagrding the 'spoiled' part. And also about adults acting like children... Though I must admit, I like to act like a child more then rarely. Of course, the good side of acting like a child 😉 Can't stand adults acting like the 'bad' side of a child, ie being childish in the negative sense.
Some nice topics ahead. Be prepared to get some longish comments 🤣
Thank you, I appreciate your comments, it takes time and good will to write them. One can just have a thought or two while reading and not bother to share those thoughts, which is also ok, I can understand that, if one has many profiles on follow list. But my preference goes in other direction, quality above quantity :) this way I know I am missing something but also am aware that with so many info around us there will always be missing something; I.m already living on the edge of epistemological exhaustion which is exhausting :)
Challenge that I have with my "articles" :) is when writing about topics that I can talk for hours and every time the Q is what to omit, how many layers to make, how much to simplify...and ofc what photo and song to put :D. Those are important for giving extra content, more to think about :) and when I remember later what I could do different is like ooow should I edit or should I not; like for example in this post I forgot to put reference to Only lovers left alive movie and decided to add it :)
Also think is fun how our replies become posts for themselves :)
What you said about your grandparents I also have around me, older couples. They lived in different time, different world so to say, different values and priorities. What is interesting how they made peace with given and found a way to play good games with given cards; we should learn from them.
Acting (good) childish form time to time is fun, I also do it, but is different from being immature; I was not clear enough with that. Many ppl, although adults in age, have a job, family, deal with responsibilities, stay emotionally on some level which is typical for some previous phase of development, so to say, stuck in preschool or adolescence for example; that is not in correlation with intelligence itself but it is with cognitive processing of reality, that is, how they interpret and experience events is influenced with those emotions. Also, there are those who can.t handle having steady job, boss over the head, serious relationship...bcs is to hard for them, they did not develop skills and coping mechanisms to overcome obstacles and frustrations that are part of our everyday life.
Looking forward to your longish comments :)
I try not to miss a lot, but must say, missing out on information shared in our community, more and more. Since I concentrate on music section at HIVE for curation, that's where most of my time is spend. I do like to get more active in LEO though. Outside of HIVE already spend a lot of time discovering and evaluating crypto projects. Seems a bit silly not to learn from the Leo community while also keep some of my knowledge for myself 🙃
Maybe you want to combine all of it into a book? Every chapter a collection of your post and in the side lines this guy's comments? 🙃
Yea, I realised you meant to say: childish as immature. I tried to respond using those terms, but seemed not to get to the right words. And absolutely, we shall learn from the older generations. I suppose they were less spoiled and selfish as we became today. Back to acting immature: I always think when I notice people acting immature: "Take Responsibility!" Maybe I thinking too simple, but when taking responsibility, everything that we need to know, will come by itself, more or less. When we don't know how to respond, how to react, how to act, we will figure this out somehow. But it all starts with taking resposibility.
Long and Short form: Both I like. But for HIVE, it tends to be long form, in posts and in responses. But, it depends a little on my available time. When short form, I always try to get a joke out, so need to think of some 'cleaver' ones. I do like Appics, the Instagram on blockchain. Currently still on the Steem chain but moving to Telos (TLOS) on the EOS chain. Still, HIVE is my default 🙂
If this book ever happen, more likely will be comments on the main stage and posts aside :lol:
Pls say that you.re not one of FOMO persons; although just saw your post about what and why...khm ;P
🤣🤣🤣
Not really. Did that other post gave you that impression?