Well, sometimes you need reassurance that what you are thinking is the correct thing that you are not making the right decisions and constantly you always ask people whether the situation has a different point of view even trying to convince them to think the same way as yourself. So after hours days and nights of wondering if this so called boyfriend wanted me or not, I asked and assessed the answers I got from friends and all led to me seeing the truth. I was never loved. One friend told me to actually do to him what he was doing to me, after all, the golden rule is 'Do unto others as you want them to do unto you'. I applied the advice and it work. He is kinda coming back to his senses but either way I have already moved on. I do not want him anymore and I am waiting for that very day that I will dump his sorry a**.
Now, please don't be judgmental, I kinda agreed to date this guy so. Well, what I am to do when the guy I thought would change and be there for me is nothing. In fact since yesterday, I believe he was lying that he was home because he went out with someone because the way he is talking to me, like the sudden shift makes me curious. He just wants to assure me that he is there when totally he is not. This is just a one time thing after a few days he will be back to his normal self of ignoring and not giving me attention, I actually believe that he is doing this lovey dovey thing because he wants to give me that picture that he is mine well I know he is not. It is a bit late for that. I am not going to get confused with making the decision of moving on. This sweet character will end. I believe that by tomorrow I will be writing a character of how he has changed.
Anyway today, I did not want to write about that fool but I could not help updating what was happening after all. Told it is about showing you a picture of what I have been through before before the present life. My past life. When I write about it,I have tears threatening to fall down my cheeks not because it is still painful to me but because I feel the goodness of the Lord every step of the way. I see His love, mercy and faithfulness in my life. So as I remember the past, it just brings the beauty in everything. Growing up was never fun, it was amazing. Despite the up and downs of everything, I enjoyed my childhood. Of course I did not have everything I wanted but it was the best. Mom was sick on and of and sometimes it was hard to live with that but well it taught me responsibility, how to be mature (though at an early stage) but I am glad I did.
#more to come
My Life, My Struggle