Love: Warning sign you don't want to ignore.

Source: Wordporn

A friend of mine called me this morning and narrated an ordeal to me, then told me to speak with the lady in question and be of help to her.

This lady visited her boyfriend, so she stayed there overnight. (I know by now, you are already having a slight idea, yeah?). She said she saw something she really don't like on his phone, (i will definitely ask her what it is when she calls, but don't forget i am still narrating from the angle my friend told me through the chats he showed me that he had with her), so she decided not to cause a scene with it because they had a visitor in the same house with them, so she decided to chat her boyfriend up (in the same house) about the strange thing she saw.

The boyfriend waited till midnight and woke her up, (guess she slept and left him with the visitor), then arguments occurred and the guy gave her the beating of her life and according to her, that isn't the first time. Wow! Just wow!! (And yet she still stayed in that relationship till that point?).
That isn't enough, he asked her to leave that same night. While she dressed up and ready to leave, the guy changed his mind and told her to wait till it is day break, so she stayed. Just within seconds of telling her to stay till day break, he told her to undress or else he would rip the dress off. She did, and the guy had sex with her, without her consent. After the heavy battering, with body ache, he had sex with her without her consent. When it was getting to daybreak, he told her to calculate all the money he has spent on her (i will address this in another post) and she should return it by Monday. Boy oh boy! Some guys are childish and a disgrace to the XY chromosome. (I am sure he said that to keep her on a tight leash).

I don't intent to point any accusing finger at any of them, but trust me, from the look of things, they are both at fault in so many ways even without me pointing them out, but for those who need me to, you can ask me in the comment section and i will duly answer you.

I read about not ignoring the warning signs today in relationships and i wouldn't want to use any of the points mentioned there because i haven't asked for permission to do that, but i will just tell everyone of us never to ignore the warning signs when you see one. A guy hit you once, he apologised and you felt it was a mistake, did it twice and you felt "I have to accept him with his weaknesses", you are living in a cocoon world of self delusion if you think he would be repentant over that. Leave him, let him learn his lessons with another, but not with you. Don't endure it, don't ignore it, and i want to bring to the record that not only guys assault, some ladies do too, but either ways, when you see the warning signs, and it's on repeat like a Disc Jockey would in practice, please LEAVE! Value your life at least and if you don't, for the sake of your loved ones, please do.

Fear of uncertainties, low self esteem, fear of starting anew, makes people withstand unhealthy relationships and even ignore the warning signs. The truth is, the warning signs are always there, we most of the time ignore them because "we love". I have actually spoken to a lot of people about doing the best for themselves and not ignore the signs, when they narrate to me their ordeals and they are glad they listened. It is sometimes hard to do but it is the best. Courage is needed. Courage is not the absence of fear but the presence of fear yet the will and desire go on. Realizing your selfworth and not giving discount will make you not settle for anything less than you know you deserve. We always accept the love we think we deserve, so when you know you deserve better, you will lay aside anything that would want to bring you down. Love yourself first before you love another. You can't give what you don't have. Don't make your partner make you feel he or she is doing you a favour by dating or marrying you and that is why you should always, i repeat ALWAYS carry yourself with dignity in any relationship. When you bring a lot to the table, the thought of hurting you will be the least on their minds.

Add value to yourself. Don't be a leech in a relationship. Add relevance. Be too relevant to be ignored. Don't be the taker alone, GIVE. There are so many things to give, not just your body, no, NOT!. Know your worth and carry yourself accordingly. Let them be scared of losing you because of the value you have brought into the relationship. Let losing you be a loss to them. If it is unhealthy for you, just leave, don't look back.

Source: Wordporn