Greetings, @hermannsol -
Lovely post, and I agree with most of your conclusions.
And it is lovely to see one so young taking marriage seriously enough to prepare well in advance. I commend you.
Having been happily married for some time, and having had a previous failed marriage, I do disagree on one major point.
Yes, you absolutely MUST accept your spouse completely, for who they are, not for who you want them to be.
If you start trying to change their negative aspects, that is YOUR failing to accept them fully. Own up to that, because doing otherwise is dishonest, and a lack of honesty sinks a lot of otherwise good relationships.
Instead, any time you perceive a negative aspect in your spouse, or significant other, go within and ask yourself whether you might be doing something to bring out those aspects, and work on yourself.
In the end, the only one we can change is ourself, and to try to change others is neither or job nor our business.
People only change when they WANT to change. Trying to make them change is a sure recipe for failure, and will only convince them that you never really loved them in the first place, or you would truly accept them for who they are.
My take, after decades of witnessing many, many marriages, successful and otherwise. I was blessed in having many friends and family members who modeled what a really great marriage is all about - deep friendship, and acceptance and support of one another, no matter what.
Thanks again for your thoughtful post.
Thank you so much @crescendoofpeace for passing by and correcting me on that point. Well taken and noted. I want to do everything to have a successful marriage. It is a dream for me.
Clearly, from your post, you are well on your way to achieving that. ;-)
One more thing that helped me, and may help you, is that when my last marriage ended, I took some time to reflect on what I was looking for in a partner before I started dating again.
I sat down and wrote out the exact characteristics I was looking for in a man, which had nothing to do with the kind of car he drove, what he looked like, or the money he made, and had everything to do with the kind of person he was inside.
As an example, I wanted a man who was a spiritual seeker like myself, who was kind to animals and children, who was respectful of elders, and who respected and accepted me for who I really am.
Long story short, I forgot about it, and went on living my life. Once I started dating, and I met Marek, we connected instantly, and on a deeper level than I had ever connected with any man before him.
About three months later, I came across my list on the computer, and in reading through it, I got everything I asked for and more. We bonded over the music we both love, he brings out the best in me, and he is my biggest fan and best friend.
My prayer for you is that you find the person perfect for you, and for whom you are the perfect match, and raise your family with the same kind of unconditional acceptance, love, and respect for their individuality.
Be blessed!
Thanks so much..
It is my prayer that i find that one.
I just followed you..
Thanks so much.. It is
My prayer that i find that one.
I just followed you..
- hermannsol
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
This haiku bot is really getting on my nerves.
LOL - I can relate. ;-)
Have a great week, @hermannsol!
You too @crescendoofpeace.
And I love your name.