Hey hey.. bro.. don't give up.. Fight it.. Men usually have this kind of feeling during mid age.. But maybe also I can tell is from ur financial burden, covid and some other stuff. I hope that you feel better soon. It's good to cry... Always remember to do it for your kids, your wife and your parents. Look at them at inspiration. If anytime you need to write out your feelings, it's good to write it here. =)