'HOW A CARELESS TEENAGER TURNED INTO A (STEP)MOM'
(life of a girl who survived domestic violence and stalking, fighting for a better life)
Welcome to the Eleventh day I'm participating in the #monthlyauthorchallenge!
I'm really excited to join the challenge! Why? Because I would love to share some bits of my life with you.
I think it might surprise you and even shock you 😉
DAY 11 THE ATTACK
We got this nice rental house in our hometown. I felt really blessed.
It was perfect for the three of us. It was cosy. It had 2 bedrooms. Originally three, but two bedrooms were merged, so the girls had this big room for themselves. Of course we painted it completely pink with princesses all over the wall.
I decided to paint the whole house pink and lilac, and I bought myself a canopy bed, just because I could.. 😁
YES, you can call me CRAZY. I guess I WAS. I was just so happy that I could finally do what I wanted, without a guy commanding me what to do and what not to do.
I did start college. I managed to get an internship at a school for special kids. I had to be there 4 days a week. The fifth day I had to follow classes. My mom helped me out a lot by looking after my girls. I brought them to childcare as well.
Because of that I had to give my everything at college. I didn't want to miss out time with my girls for nothing..
My ex-husband was still harassing me all the time. I was still getting a lot of messages. In the conversation with Michel from 'the arrangement concerning parental acces with guidance, a project of CPS' (project Begeleide Omgangs Regeling van Bureau Jeugdzorg) my ex-husband promised to leave me alone and to take care of things via Michel.
But he didn't keep that promise. He came by our house several times to say things or to ask me things. He even brought food with him sometimes. I guessed he was trying to be nice, but he didn't understand how threatening it was because of the things he said/enforced, because of the not respecting my boundaries, and because of what had happened before. 😡
He told me that I had to talk to him directly instead of having conversations with CPS.
He wanted to see the girls more often.
He even wrote letters to my parents and other family members as well, to ask/order them to make it happen.
I talked about it with CPS.
Their advice was to keep it as it had been the last couple of months: one weekend every two weeks.
So I held unto that, but I did offer to let him call the girls every wednesday, so there would be more contact between them.
One night I was sitting in the livingroom. I was chatting with a friend on the computer. The girls were upstairs, sleeping.
I heard the doorbell ring.
I opened the door and my ex-husband was standing there.
'Hi, do you know the number of Michel?'
'You can't show up here every time. You have to leave me alone. You can call the CPS office as well to ask for his number.'
THE NEXT MOMENT I WAS LAYING ON THE FLOOR..
A KNEE in my BELLY.
A HANDGLOVE in my MOUTH.
My NECK TWISTED.
He was bending over me. He said things. I can't remember what...
I DO remember laying there thinking
'BYE WORLD. THIS IS IT.' 😱
I have no idea how long I was laying there in the corridor...
After a while he was releasing me, so I could stand up.
We walked into the livingroom. He kept talking to me. Then I heard the stairs..
THE GIRLS! 😓
Mirthe was awake. I was afraid she'd panic as soon as she'd she her dad in our house and me being upset and crying. I tried to calm myself and said 'hey honey, look who's here. Give your daddy a kiss. You'll see him in a week. Come, I'll bring you back to bed.'
And so I did.
She didn't panic at all. She went back to sleep! THANK GOD!
Ater that my ex-husband and I went to the kitchen. He kept talking/yelling at me. I remember standing there. Keeping my mouth shut to avoid making him even more upset.
Then I saw this knife block..
Would I be able to get a hold of a knife to protect myself? What would happen if I wasn't fast enough? But in what other way could I get out of this situation?
I decided to keep silent. I didn't hear what he was saying. I Think I was in shock.
But after half an hour I heard him say: 'I'll go now. Don't tell anybody about this!'
I don't know what happened but I heard myself say 'NO, I won't let you get away with this! I WILL tell the police!'
BETTY! Why did you say that?! 😱
He got really angry and started yelling again.
I can't remember what happened next. I do remember he stayed for a while and then walked away.
As soon as he was gone I called my parents. That night the police came by my house.
I decided I wasn't going to bring the girls to my ex-husband the weekend after this happened. It wouldn't be safe. Not for me and not for the girls as well. He didn't have control over himself.
I informed CPS about my decision.
Michel said he couldn't help us anymore now things got out of hand so bad.
So now there wasn't an acces agreement anymore.
And that's excactly what my ex-husband DIDN'T want to happen... 😩
Stay tuned!
-Thank you for your interest! I would love to hear something from you! Please leave a comment and I'll get back to you 😊 Hope to see you back tomorrow! Love you 😘!-
This story is part of a series I'm writing this month in the #monthlyauthorchallenge, here below are the previous parts:
PART 10: CPS
PART 9: Stalking
PART 8: The divorce
PART 7: Running away
PART 6: Domestic violence
PART 5: Now what?
PART 4: Becoming a young mom
PART 3: Kissing and making out
PART 2: The first guy I'll kiss
PART 1: This is me
Terrible, I feel the fear reading it.. I am staying tuned ;)
I feel it again while writing it..
Yeah, I recognize that.. sometimes I write while tears keep rolling down my cheek.. keep writing though ;-)
I left out some nasty details to avoid that scenario 😉
Can imagine that ;) just write what you want to share, it's up to you ;)
I'd love to share everything, but I don't because it IS the father of my kids..
And I don't have the time! 😁
Unreal how CPS is supposed to help in situations like these but then when it gets too hot for them, they bail...WHAT a system is right...I am so sorry you had to go through all this. And I'm so glad you found happiness again with @fitzgibbon and managed to put this all behind you. This reads like a novel, thanks for sharing this most intimate part of your life.
I hope I can inpire other women who recognize my story.. YOU can get out of these situations and it WILL get better!
Talk to someone!