'HOW A CARELESS TEENAGER TURNED INTO A (STEP)MOM'
(life of a girl who survived domestic violence and stalking, fighting for a better life)
Welcome to the Eighth day I'm participating in the #monthlyauthorchallenge!
I'm really excited to join the challenge! Why? Because I would love to share some bits of my life with you.
I think it might surprise you and even shock you 😉
DAY 8 The divorce
My husband was not so happy with the whole situation. He wanted me back and was willing to do everything that was necessary (in his eyes) to succeed.
He had no idea where we were so he went to my parents house several times. He broke my parents car. He attacked and hit my dad, and he attacked even my mother. 😢 He broke into my brothers house to take a look in the telephone if there would be numbers that could lead to us. He even went to my grandma to ask her about where I was!
I was so scared for them and felt so guilty I brought him into my family 😡
The following days I recieved dozens of phonecalls a day from him: 'Honey, please tell me where you are'
10 minutes later: 'Honey, you need to tell me where you are!'
30 minutes later: 'Honey, I'm driving to your mothers work right now and I'm gonna hurt her if you don't tell me where you are!!' 😨
Nobody besides my mom and dad knew where we were.. I didn't tell anybody for our safety, and for their own safety.. My classmates, our neighbours, my friends, my family, even my own brothers, nobody knew..
I couldn't involve anybody. I had to do it by myself with help from my parents.
I'd been in touch with CPS and other organisations that helped women, but nobody could help me. Why not?
I couldn't get help in the town where I lived, because I was still registered in my home town..
I couldn't get help from my hometown because I lived in another town..
They told me it would be easier to get me help if I'd live in a shelter..
Easier..
Great system..
Settling things wasn't easy. I had to make a lot of calls to arrange all kind of things and I had to make sure that every company knew that they had to keep my information confidential.
I was lucky I could get social benefits. I told the lady I really wanted to continue college, but she said it would probably be a good idea to take some time to settle and to take care of myself and the kids. I hated it, but she was right.
In a way it was a blessing. I could spent a lot of time with my cuties. I had time to sort things out for myself. Besides that I needed time go to the policestation to have conversations with my husband, to go to appointments with CPS to talk about the kids, and I needed A LOT OF TIME to answer the many phonecalls and messages I kept getting from my husband. Everytime I heard my ringtone I felt nauseous, and after every call I was exhausted..
Some weeks went by. My husband went to a place to get treatment for his addiction. In the meanwhile he kept calling me several times a day.
Everybody told me to divorce him. Our marriage was broken. I should never go back to him.
But I wasn't sure..
I promised this man to be faithful to him and to support him through the good times, but through the bad times as well.. These were the bad times. Was it fair to leave him now at this low point?
Of course, he did things to me that weren't acceptable, but was it bad enough to break my promise? Was our marriage really broken? I travelled to the treatmentcenter several times to talk with him and the therapists, and took the girls with me so he could see them. I felt sorry for him he had to miss the girls so much.
I hoped he'd work hard and that we could get back together eventually. But how long would it take? It was hard to keep my hope up.. Their was A LOT that needed to change. I asked God, how long do I have to wait for him, raising this two girls on my own??
It could take YEARS! I wanted to move on, but I could do nothing but wait.. I had to keep my promise.
Then I got this phonecall from him in the middle of the night. He just said 'Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I've been with another woman'. The only thing I could say was 'Thank you'. Then he hang up the phone.
The following moment I jumped in the air and shouted 'WHAT?! That means I'm free... I'M FREE!!!' I've said to myself my whole life , 'If someone ever cheats on me, that's it, I'm gone.'
This was IT! My FREE TICKET! Thank GOD! 😤
I went to my lawyer that week, asking her to arrange a divorce. She did. A couple of months after I left my husband, dozens of conversations with several mediators, several visits to the courthouse, and thousands of phonecalls later we got divorced.
I was finally FREE to live my life as I wanted to!
Or wasn't I?.....
I'll tell you about it tomorrow!
Stay tuned!
-Thank you for your interest! I would love to hear something from you! Please leave a comment and I'll get back to you 😊 Hope to see you back tomorrow! Love you 😘!-
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Wow, after reading it so far (I have to admit, I kinda cut some corners and read this one, but still have to read 3 of the former) I realized that we have a lot more in common than just being Dutch and both on Steemit (and both knowing the living legend @scan0017). I admire your strength and am glad that you were able to put your past behind you and moved on to a better life. Thank you for sharing what has to be a tough story to tell. Respect!
Thank you @misslasvegas! Writing it down is good therapy 😉
Interesting story
Thank you. This is only one small part of my story.. I'm writing about it everyday for this whole month. You're may find it interesting to read the posts that lead up to this post 😊
Good for you! Although this might not be all I guess.. next part please.. (going there lol)
It was a relief.. but it wasn't the end of all worries unfortunately..
I am feeling sad @bettyboob for what you have experienced in your marriage life ( those initial years) but how strong you were to survive from such situations. It seems you guys are doing great nowadays and I wish and Pray the same happiness remains forever life end. Yeah!! Go women!!! Your kids are lucky to have you as Mom..@fitzgibbon you too as a dad man as I guess you have changed later completely.. Exciting to read further posts..
This isn't about @fitzgibbon! (Altough @fitzgibbon can be a pain in the ...) 😂
This story is about my ex-husband 😉
Sorry actually for what I understood wrong!!!!So, @fitzgibbon part yet to come in your life story? Maybe I failed to read posts on Day #6 or #7
I'm only in @bettyboob's life the last 10 years. At this point in the story she didn't even know I existed :)
I thought it's you @fitzgibbon!! Sorry!!! And Congratulations big day is awaiting Feb 13th second #thunderclap. Hope for better reach than last time. I already joined as well invited my fellow follower steemians to join via one of my posts!!!
Thunderclap 13th of Feb.
10 year Anniversary me and @bettyboob 14th of Feb.
..13th of Feb is a small day.
Haha no problem! My life IS complicated! 😉
Hmmm. I wish you guys @allinthefamily have a smooth life forever. Good day Betty!!!