A lot of people struggle with the thoughts of trying to change the past, and it weakens them. Sometimes, they just sit, replay old conversations or past events, spot mistakes in their head, then begin to regret why everything happened. I am not saying that reflection is bad; it is actually healthy, but regrets are bad. The truth is that no matter how much you worry about yesterday, it cannot change, but the good news is that you can design tomorrow. By understanding this, then you have positioned yourself for personal growth and for a lasting transformation. By dwelling in the past, you prevent yourself from seeing the possibilities that awaits you in the future. So you need to focus more on what lies ahead, and not on what has passed.
You should understand that the past is fixed. There is no amount of sulkings, worries, self-guilt, or blame that can change the things that already happened in the past. In fact, the more you worry about them, the more you are trapped by the feeling of guilt. The past does not exist to torment you, neither is it meant to guilt-trip you, but it is meant to teach you lessons. There are lessons in every mistake of the past, there are something to learn from whatever had happened. It can teach patience, resilience, judgement, and character development. It is how you perceive what has happened that will determine if you will be trapped by it or if it will make you stronger.
When you realise that yesterday was a classroom for lessons, and not a courtroom for sentences, you will stop condemning yourself and start educating yourself. When you have this shift in your mindset, you will set yourself free from emotional chains, then you will prepare yourself for progress. You cannot hold on to the past and expect to make any meaningful progress forward. Imagine a driver driving but he constantly has his eyes fixed on the rear mirror, his speed will be affected negatively, and he stands the risk of crashing the car. This also happens in life - if you keep holding on to the past, the future may slip away from you.
In order to design tomorrow, you have to take responsibilities for today. You may not be able to control every single thing that comes your way, but you can determine how to respond to it, and then move on. Taking responsibility for your life and for your today does not mean blaming yourself for the past, rather it is more about getting yourself prepared for the future. Everyday that comes to you will give you an opportunity to take a step, to make a choice, to take a decision. For each passing day, nature will hand you a blank page and a pen, but you are the one to determine what to write in it. Your decisions, your choices, your habits, and even your attitude, are part of what you need to design your tomorrow.
It is worthy to note that your tomorrow will not improve by accident. In fact, anything of value that you are looking for will not be delivered by accident. This is why you have to be intentional about your tomorrow. Set clear goals to give you direction, build discipline to give you consistency, and start taking steps from where you are no matter how small. Some of the daily repeated actions will build up to become part of what makes you who you are. To design your tomorrow, you have to be deliberate about where you are going to, and who you want to become. If you do not know where you are going to, you will just expend energy in futility without achieving any result.
It is true that some steps you want to take may look scary, but you should not allow fear to stop you from taking the risk. There are things that have been achieved in the world which once began as something seemingly impossible. You may not know the possibilities that are embedded in the step that you want to take until you take it. Do not allow the experiences of the past to prevent you from taking steps today. Remember that the steps you take today will become what will shape the tomorrow you desire.
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Thanks friend @riyat