A lot of people grow up believing that real love is something that you just stumble on like a hidden treasure. Like you would just see someone and they would instantly become your missing piece. Well, what you need to understand is that true love is not a function of chance, rather it is created and built with intentionality and effort. You do not just find a lasting love, you build it. Most times, something that is gotten on a platter also goes on a platter. But when it is built, you will attach value to it and it will last. There are some pillars that we will look at that will help one to build love even in their relationship.
The first pillar to build real love is respect. As a matter of fact, this is the starting point to build a lasting love. Respect means that you acknowledge the worth of your partner, and you know that their feelings, choices, decisions matter, then treating them well at all times. If you respect your partner, you will not want to willingly harm their feelings, cross boundaries, or do what is wrong to them. Trust me, when you respect your partner, they will also do the same to you, and the emotional bond between you will become stronger. It is respect that creates a safe space where love can naturally grow. Respect is not just about words, it shows in your actions towards your partner, like listening to them, being supportive, communicating well, and not belittling them or their efforts.
The next pillar that we will look at, which is very important is communication. Just to let you know, it is not just about what you are saying, but what also matters is how you are saying it, and of course, the tone, emotions, body languages, facial expression, and other nonverbal cues. Communication also includes your listening skills, and how you understand a subject matter. There are some people that will be talking, yet they are not communicating. Good communication can improve understanding and build trust, which builds love. When you learn to discuss your fears, your worries, your desires, your choices with your partner, it will strengthen the walls of your relationship. Even in your family, place of work, community, etc, effective communication is needed for good interpersonal relationship.
Another very important pillar that builds love is having a shared value. This is actually part of what shape the direction of your relationship. When you have a shared value with someone, it will become easier to build love with them. For example, it it easier to align with someone going to your destination than someone who is going in an opposite direction. Shared value may include ambition, faith, integrity, life goals, moral inclination, etc. This is part of what make you compatible with someone. Building with someone who complements you is always easier than building with someone who competes with you.
The 4th pillar that we will look at here is trust. Trust is arguably the thing that holds a relationship together. Even when the journey may seem shaky, or rough, your trust will keep it going. Just to let you know, trust is not gifted, it does not come automatically, rather it is built by your acts of honesty and consistency. When you keep your words, keep your promises, remain reliable, stay truthful, and transparent, you will build trust. In your relationship, avoid anything that can bring doubt or suspicion. Without building trust, love itself might become shaky with time. But when trust is built, love will flow naturally, and the walls of the relationship will be strengthened.
The last pillar that we will look at here is forgiveness. No matter how careful you may be, you may still step on your partner's foot at some points. This is where forgiveness comes in. Mistakes can happen because no one is above that, but you have to learn for forgive. When you forgive, you will open yourself up for reconciliation and deeper understanding. It is true that you cannot erase the past by forgiving, nor can you justify the errors by it, but it gives room for love to flourish again. Forgiveness also teaches humility, humanity, and patience, because your partner is not without flaws, but love will always prevail.
Thanks for reading
