.....LOYALTY....

in #musing6 years ago

A couple of friends came over, we had a few drinks and shared many laughs. York talked about the girl he met at the club, her dancing steps were mind-disturbing. Andre reminded me of how I never allowed him to dub, my assignment which right from the start I had been practically distributing…
It was a great time together with Sade and Chioma, there has never been a dull moment with these two right from high school. The former had told us about a fellow that ‘went into coma’, just because she denied him a selfie with her at the pool…
I felt so graced to be an accomplice to these exquisite and warm-hearted seraphs I could ‘proudly’ call my friends, they gave me the perfect gift and meaning to my existence, I would always love them till the end.
I would continue to fondly rethink and laugh about the moments I shared with them, it got so good that I’d even mimic some funny statements that came from them. With my phone in hand, I’d swap through the pictures we snapped together. Goose-pimples all over me like I’ve been rampaged by a thorough wasp, aimed for murder.
This continued for hours, days and even weeks, wishing I could relive those magical periods. A few calls to share jocund convos, discussing how I miss their presence in my condo. What a stint of joy and delusion!
Gradually, days went and days came but I was still with voices in my head and figures moving around me. This time not my friends’, but ones with tones full of dread and torture lurking within me.

It was weeks, wishing I could relive those magical periods. A few calls to share jocund convos, discussing how I miss their presence in my condo. What a stint of joy and delusion!
Gradually, days went and days came but I was still with voices in my head and figures moving around me. This time not my friends’, but ones with tones full of dread and torture lurking within me. I was lonely, not happy as I would have wanted and craving for some company. I was left with the singular option of searching within for some comforting answers to my sudden impending anxiety… look what I found!
Alas! There existed a negligible but crucial figure of note, a Me. Right there I was, before and after my friends came and went. Standing in the mid of the spotlight, reclining the company of my shadows. I could hear the cheers of my devotees to my greatest delight, neglecting the jeers of my foes; my thoughts. (There is nothing more amazing than having your critics and fans all within the same hemisphere, taking their time out to critically criticize you.)
How come I didn’t notice this bizarre serenity before now? Besides, who are these fans and critics at the same time? How did they get into my head?

!-----------ATTENTION------------!
This may not be bizarre as it looks, it is rather more eye-opening, and there are some aspects I have significantly overlooked in times past.
I give so much attention to people that I don’t pay due attention to myself. I am left with the ultimate price to pay for owing myself some valuable devotion, attention. I have gotten so used to having people around that I have forgotten the pricelessness of being with me, recursion. My life has been built around the consciousness of friends’ proximity, I have taken so much little a time to harness the companion within my identity.
Many weeks have gone and months have started counting, months of loneliness come self-appreciation. There is more to me than just being a loyal friend. My creativity assessed and my personality addressed.
The voices in my head still there, as they have done well in making me a better person. I’ve learnt much more than I can from anyone other than Me, my loyal confidant!
BE YOU
LOVE YOU
APPRECIATE
........your LOYAL confidant!

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Kisses!