Out of nowhere, Sarah’s phone lit up with a DM from @beanz that had a link to Ned’s server. Intrigued, I quickly fired up Discord to see what that sleazy fucker was selling now. My initial enthusiasm was short lived, because I was first greeted with a notification explaining that in order to troll Ned’s server, I would need to verify my identity.
As I debated handing over my personal details to that creepy bastard, my inner child began screaming: “What? Are you crazy! We’ve got an anus to protect!”
Then I heard what I came for, that slow mumbling voice that only occurs when Ned mixes Valium, Xanax and a Red Bull, you know – for the wings. But, as I listened to what sounded like Ned’s rock bottom, my hopes of hearing him perform another bitcoin song, sadly, slipped away. I tried to take comfort in the comments that were ferociously pouring into chat, but even if I could have told them my tale of woe, they were way too angry to offer any sympathy.
Almost everyone was on the attack and I could tell that Ned wasn’t going to take this lying down, because in his mind this was his, ‘Independence Day!’
Fighting through the haze of tranquilizers and limited intellect, a desperate Ned muttered something almost incoherent in order to put all the haters in their place, but the ill-prepared, sluggishly-spoken nonsense, unfortunately, misfired and the crowd was whipped into a frenzy; a barrage of insults were catapulted into Ned so hard that he was almost flung from his swivel chair.
A dazed Ned slowly regained composure, as his right hand flapped around his desk, until it landed on the only thing that could save its dim-witted master: armed with the mouse and a desperate need for vengeance, Ned began mercilessly booting the hostiles from his server.
Then, out of nowhere, Ned fell silent, and, as I waited, someone in chat, who specialized in translating sedated-Ned into English, informed us that Ned had suffered enough and had retreated.
Now, I’ll be honest with you, I could barely make sense of any of this, but I found Ned’s pleas to be a bit heartbreaking, especially when, in order to convince us that he wasn’t at rock bottom, he claimed that he still had some steem left, and he can quit - anytime.
I think it’s obvious that we need to schedule an intervention, because Ned desperately needs help!
Thanks I seriously needed that laugh!
You're welcome and thank you for reading it.
Last year, I wrote a similar story: Neds Live Stream, so if you're in need of another laugh check it out.
As an aside... she was the top comment there too ; )
-Kind regards
omg, i could never make it through ned's guitar video. Lmao!
Thank you
I just created an account called: @justins-butler, to satirize Justin Sun and I have an older account called @neds-intern, which is dedicated to making fun of Ned, but I haven't written on it in 8 months.
hahahaahahahahhaahahahhaahhahaha.
I am thinking of re-starting Steemicide Hotline. should i?
Definitely, I can't even begin tell you how many times I've accidentally committed steemicide.
i love it how i can comment on your posts from 2018. I kinda fear that won't be possible....SOOOON
Why? Because of Tron or is something else happening?
I came back to giggle at this a second time. A++ would read again
#nedscottdidntkillhimself
Whenever I post a story here, I always get this terrible fear that no one will read it, thank you!
IT'S SOO GOOD. i am considering powering up if you create this content regularly! i fear not having anything good to read on steem...
Oh wow, thank you so much! I don't write these stories too often, because I'm usually focused on screenplays, but this is definitely much more fun.
hahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
You have a way with words @gonzo, glad to see a post from you again.
Thanks man, I had to take some time off because I started to lose my vision, but I think I will be around a bit more now. So, how have you been?
It's been a busy week, but I've been good doing what I always do.
It's been a busy
Week, but I've been good doing
What I always do.
- r0nd0n
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
Lol he sounded awfully depressed for someone who retired at the age of 29 or well some would argue earlier than that but still, these are your golden years, enjoy them!
LOL
So when do you think he retired, 2018 or is that too generous?
I was wondering if the depression might be due to some legal issue, I mean he can't still be mad that Dan walked out on him, right?
Lol financially this year, mentally 2018 seems about right! Well people all hold grudges for different reasons, a guy walking out on your project and basically replicating a lot of it and becoming an almost billionaire in the process would leave some scars I’m sure
This is hilarious, good to see you Gonzo
Thank you so much for reading it.
This is classic. That rambling discord trope was really sad to hear. Still not sure if he and justin are working together or if he actually pulled off a deal.
Between Ned and Justin, I think we're ODing on corporate gibberish...
The art of saying fuck all, tornadoes of meaningless buzzwords...
Almost like they're saying something...
If only there was some tools out there, some tools they could use to clearly elucidate their brilliance to their lowly subjects...
During the Ned show, there was an undertone of desperation in Neds voice that indicated to me that he was in some dire situation, but I seriously have no idea of what's happening. The only thing I know for sure is that I probably need to follow Justin Sun so I can start making fun of him too.
Hahahahahaha good read ,needed something like this to kill the drama.
Thank you!
At the moment Steemit feels like a powder keg and I can't understand any of it, I'm just hoping this will make some people laugh.
This is fucking hilarious. Couldn't stop reading it till the last sentence. Thank you for that moment @gonzo
Thank you so much!
About a year ago, I wrote a similar story: Neds Live Stream, so if you need a laugh check it out.
Hey! You are back! Good thing. And what and excellent way to write. Laughed and giggled. :)
Thanks man, it feels really good to be back, so, how have you been?
Mainly well, trying to avoid Sun in my personal cave. Now please tell me you are here to stay. That is, if after Sun's actions, here stays for you.
Over the last year, I've been having some issues with my vision, but I think I should be around a bit more now. I have some stories and multiple updates that I wrote over the year that I couldn't read in order to edit, maybe some of them are worth posting, not sure.
This whole Tron thing is insane, but at least it has people talking about Steemit again.
Not familiar with that concept. Vision. My way of doing things is jumpy, flowy, interruptive and loosing my mind before I hit the post button.
That is also how I read posts from other people. Except those who have the kind of style that captivates from the first word to the last. Like yours. :)
Thanks, but I'm not as deep as you think, when I say 'my vision,' I mean that I can't tell when cars are coming.
Aaaaaaah! :D :D :D and I'm not deep either!!
Glad to see a post from you. I hope things have been getting better for you. Cheers and thanks for the laugh.
Hey @enjar, it's good to see you again :)
That's me in the picture on the left!
Oh wow!
Sorry I had to crop you a bit.
That was at the IT Chosun Meetup in Seoul, South Korea that I helped plan on behalf of Steemit.
How'd THAT work out? In the aggregate, i mean...
It was part of our 2018 Summer Asia trip. I worked BD at Steemit, Inc. for two years.
Sarah and me were debating the year of this picture and I had 2018, because it captured skinny-Ned and I don't think we met fat-Ned until 2019.
Fighting through the haze of CANNABIS and UNlimited intellect, a desperate FRANK muttered...
Highly rEsteemed!
Thank you so much, but why the picture of Linkedin?
You're not forcing employment on me, right?
nah, man...
that's just like,
my business card or something.
Ya Dig?
but most of my pics look the same to me so it's confusing : /
wish some coders knew how to better connect sites...
Well... I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think all the coders were just laid off, for being too tired or something. The only time I have ever seen mass exhaustion like that is when the local meth dealer skipped town, which kinda makes sense, because all the Steemit devs came down with this just days after Ned left.
So, I doubt we'll be connecting with any other site until the devs find a new connection.
Imma successful Dope Pedaler on this chain Frankly.
Have been for years...
LinkedIn is justa sid gig.
Update Ned was found naked in Austin yelling "AT A VAN" parked in front of a closed pharmacy.. He was literally yelling ativan at the van! Occasionally this maniacal episode was broken up by the phrase "rocks don't have bottom's!! but Justin Sun does and I tapped it, hard"
LOL
What's up @skramatters?
Oh same old shit, I got my dystopian gear in hand ready to get all mad max furry road! Good to see you poked your head out again