Since im stuck home alot and have been..shit i started getting sick with my breast implants for 2 years i was in a bed. Took them out got better. Then started having episodes where i pass out. I pass out quite often. If i move around, multitask etc. Now when im not binded up. If I do bind,( do it nysellf) I can feel how to adjust my insides. It helps me do things for a few jours at home. So wierd to go through but you learn your body. Because of the falls, i have a lot of brojen inside. And in this county, government insurance is based on treating symptoms. Not to curem But its like the past 5 years, i go to Doctors appointments, get out into the mountains and once in a while i muster the energy to do something crazy! Lol. I get svared just to open the door knob sometimes. To walk into walk mart and loom at everyone staring at me. It feels horrible. Like ground hog day. The same dsy, but subtle changes. Thats why I do appreciate steem. It really is like therapt for me. I create videos and inbetween the shots its hard. So Im started to do videos without me in them. But i do habe good days. I appreciate every boring ass day. I think.my nerves are just shot. I cant handle loud noises. Movements. Yet is my environment is comfortable and im happy, all that seems to just melt away. I guess w
Having Purpose. Ok. Thoughtful Thursday. Lolol. Fuck. There my book. Haaaaa. I just understand what you go through. I kinda dont miss the world. I only miss what people i want in my life and nature;
Word. Loss of self is pretty crushing to the soul. Being sick all the time sucks ass. Especially when the world is just bleh all the time. I try and paint sometimes to brung a little color to my life. Ya'know?
We do what we can 💚📽🎬