Comfy Circumstances

in #news3 years ago

Two men were arrested on Tuesday after wheeling a dead man through an office block in one of those really cool swivel chairs. The chair itself was of management status and was alleged to be equipped with a wi-fi hub, a drinks cooler and a hard drive brimming with all sorts of demeaning pictures.

For most working class people, a ride in such a chair would be a dream come true. But the individual concerned was somewhat dead and due to this, he could not be reached for comments on his amazing afterlife experience.

According to a report by The New York Post, the two men were also arrested for attempted fraud or something but even so, this is trivial news when compared to the shocking exposé on what seems to be a universal employment policy for the comfy chair.

The true horror is that company management will still only allow hard working employees a ride in the comfy chair after the point of death. In some circumstances, the deceased individual must also provide a comfy chair ride affidavit, signed in triplicate, to ensure company policy is not breached by anyone pretending to be dead.

However, worker unions are demanding an immediate change in biased legislation and providing that such a case goes forward to a tribunal, maybe we can look forward to a better tomorrow. Perhaps in the future, everyone will get to ride the comfy chair, irrespective of their mortality status.