There is one thing all parents will not want to hear of their kids. Their kids failing in school. Of course, every parents will be delighted at their children excelling at school work. No one wants the Mantra: their son or daughter is very dull. True. But, can it be worked upon? Can that seemingly dull child become brighter? Join me as I narrate my personal story. I think it will be of help to parents having challenges with their wards. I was once labelled the dull kid, but I came through. I'm currently an educationists. I teach and I see where I was and where I am now.
I have noticed how parents handle their children's failure at school. Some asks the school authority to either promote their ward or they simply withdraw and take them to other schools where they can be accommodated. This practice is not only devastating in itself as it tends to reflect the ill quality of individuals produced. One school of thought is that ones child is not supposed to fail after coughing out exorbitant fees for tuition. Maybe I'll suggest some Parents look out for modest schools offering the same services at a much more affordable rate . I'll be talking about that in my next post; Model schools vs Modest schools.
Notwithstanding, I think it will be a great disservice to allow your child or ward to enter the next stage when He/She has not completely grasp what the previous lessons are. I know what it is because I have failed before, I know what it means to be demoted, the shame, the poor esteem it can result to, if not properly managed.
I started schooling at Ebenezer Nursery and Primary School, Benin City. That's a picture of my elder Sister and I in the 1990s. I didn't start out so bright as some scholars would claim. I still remember when my Mom asked what I learnt in school, my response was a question, school? She couldn't take that in. She wanted the best, and I had to be withdrawn from that School. Guess where they took me to? Then, we call such schools "garri school". I still remember the popular song in my language: "Ivbie school garri, garri, garri, e garri fo vbedo, Sabo Sabo" literarily meaning: garri school children, have consumed all the garri in Edo; especially in Sabongida Ora; a place in Edo state. That's by wayside. I was placed under the care of One Mrs. Alaba of blessed memory (I related in my last post tagged "Happy Teachers Day"). There, I was tutored and learnt the basis all over again. Was it difficult? Yes, it was. But far more rewarding than I thought. The result? Splendid!!! As I grew to become the brightest pupil in my Primary Education. It was even extended to my secondary and tertiary as well.
Let me explain it with this concept. For those who are Civil Engineers, You know what it means to do formwork in which mixed concrete are poured into to raise pillars. If the formwork is not properly constructed, it wont produce the desired shape a Civil Engineer wants. The likelihood of a collapse or catastrophe is very high. In the end, it amounts to nothing, or even loses. We've heard of buildings with faulty foundation collapsed and the resulting death toll. Not a beautiful story, I guess, as the unpalatable scene unfolds. But when properly constructed, it's heyday. In my tertiary education, one of our courses we undertook is strength of materials. For a full building to be placed on a pillar or steel, the strength of that pillar or steel has to be determined. The weight of the building must be equal to that of the pillar or steel. If not, that would be a catastrophe waiting to happen. It wont be long.
Another claim parents might make is that they want their children/wards to finish on time. Let me give You a breakdown of my situation. You will understand it's no use rushing them. After learning under Mrs. Alaba, I was taken to primary One again from where my parents took me from. That means, I lost two to three years in the process. Primary One was good. So was Primary two. I was still at average in those classes until the second term of Primary three where I topped the class, but later lost that position to a girl called Mary. It was in Primary four that I really took charge and dominated the class; coming out tops in first and third terms respectively. I know You may want to ask how about the second term. Yes, I was involved in preparations for Federal Common Entrance. I came second with Mary topping the class. To cut the long story short, I wrote my common entrance at Primary Four (when it should have been at Primary five or six in some schools). Got into secondary school. Topped the class all through Junior Secondary One and was given a double promotion to Junior Secondary Three. You know what? In Junior Secondary Three, I came out Seventh position because they've already gone a bit farther and I was trying to catch up. So, You see. Those times I thought were wasted were later regained.
Finally, I'll like to add this. Never subject your children/wards or allow anyone to subject them to any name-calling, as it may damage their self-esteem. Affirm and shower praises on them when they behave correctly. Discipline them when they err or do wrong. Be moderate on how You use the rod as a parent so as not to instill fear in them. They should be able to express themselves before you. Create time to follow them through on their work. It will be difficult but rewarding. It may be just that one child that's giving you headache. Don't quit on him/her. It's time to believe in that child again, and deliberately do what's best for his/her future. As my Pastor will say; upthrust is a deliberate act. Yeah!!! That's where the foundation comes into play. So, the next time your child/ward fails, let him honourably repeat that class until He gets it. It will do You more good than harm. Have a great ahead.