Adult Content -- NSFW!!
This is erotic comedy. Please do NOT proceed unless you are at least 18 years old and have no objections to very naughty little stories.
Episode 1: Slutterella Goes to the Sex Shoppe
Once upon a time, (before the quarantine, when it was still ok to go outside), there was this hot horny little bitch who was so outta control she could barely keep herself from begging strangers on the bus to just rip her skirt off and fuck her right there in front of everyone.
So she walked a lot.
One day she was walking to 7-11 to buy some scratch tickets for her responsible step sisters and drunk-ass step mom.
She saw this mookie lookin' guy turn down an alley and walk through a door with a sign over it.
Normally, people read signs before following weird dudes through strange doors, but Slutterella's horny little twat was practically squirting already so she knew it would be okay.
So anyway, Slutterella walked through the door and she was startled by what she saw. It was a store, but it was unlike any store she had ever seen or been in before. The things on the racks were....strange and...."hmmmnn"
Slutterella let out a little whimper and thrust out her bottom lip in hopes of garnering a little help. She leaned helplessly on one of the racks, fiddled with her hair, brought her finger down to her pouty lip, slowed her breathing, and turned on her heels, dizzy from her own sluttiness.
The tactic almost worked except, as she turned into one of the aisles, she smacked straight into a huge black rubber cock. She stepped back and turned to the side to see another cock and another and another. She was surrounded by cocks. There were cocks hanging from above, cocks sticking up from below, big cocks, little cocks, even a dog's cock. Slutterella was so freaked out and horny at the same time, she accidentally backed her coochie right into an 18 inch clear silicon piece.
It was clear she had good taste.
"OHHH MMMMMNNN!" The sluttly little minx cried out as she came like a Yellowstone geyser, soaking her hello Kitty panties under the skirt she bought at Hot Topic.
"Are you alright?"
----OMG, it was the mookie guy. Shit shit shit shit, say something,
"Umm uhhh unmm ummm uhhhh hi, um hehe", Slutterella managed to ditz out.
"Um, yeah hi. Sooo, you're okay..." The mookie guy said, kinda sounding like a judgemental douche but whatever.
That didn't matter to Slutterella.
All that mattered was that he probably wanted to fuck her. And that just made Slutterella so hot she could barely think or do math.
But she was running the numbers on the mookie guy's cock. He was white so she was envisioning a 4 and a half incher chillin curled tight in his skinny jeans.
The mookie guy was so turned on that he walked away and completely ignored her. But Slutterella knew he was just playing hard to get.
So she slowly started walking in his direction when the woman behind the counter (who was heavyset, dressed in leather, in her forties, been thru it, and had a mohawk) cleared her throat and stared at her judgementally. Slutterella felt obligated to buy something so she grabbed the closest thing to her and put it on the counter. It was a vibrating buttplug. The woman smiled out of one corner and scanned it into the system.
It was $19.99 plus tax.
Now, Slutterella had $36.50 but she was sposed to spend 15 dollars in scratch tickets for her responsible step sisters and drunk-ass step mom. Even though Slutterella knew the state sales tax was 8%, she didn't know what the hell to do with that information. Does she add something to something...or multiply...oh wait or multiply and then add. Wait, what are we even talking about?
Slutterella looked down at the counter, then at the register which for some ungodly reason still only said $19.99 "plus tax." Why couldn't it just say the total? But then what would she even do with THAT number?
Slutterella decided it was useless to try. There was simply no way she could be certain she had enough for the vibrating buttplug and the scratch tickets. To make matters worse, the mookie guy appeared behind her, tapping his foot and checking his phone. And all he was getting was some fuzzy cuffs and a blindfold. Still, that was kind of hot, but now the pressure was really on.
What should Slutterella do? Should she:
A) Throw caution to the wind and just buy the buttplug?
B] Suffer the humiliation of putting the buttplug back and leave empty handed?
Or
C) Rethink her life and go get a fucking education?
What's that you say, A? Okay A.
Slutterella slapped a dub on the counter like "TAKE MY MONEY".
The woman rolled her eyes. "That'll be $21.60." She said, popping a stick of Wrigley's spearmint in between her gaudy red lips. She also wore way to much eye shadow. A stripe of blue over a stripe of black. Girl looked like a Halloween clown.
Slutterella attempted a smile, trying to do the math in her head to see if she still had enough now that she had this new number, not that it matters now, Jesus bitch just put the fucking five down. Put it down! The mookie guy is watching you fucking idiot!!!
Slutterella needed to work on her self talk.
Slutterella looked down. What was happening? The five was on the counter, but her hand was still on the five. She was leaning on it. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Pull your haaaaand oooooffffff theeeeee fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive.............
Slutterella regained her composure, took her hand off the five, and turned and smiled at the mookie guy. She fiddled coyly with her long bangs and cocked a hip while the woman handled her cash behind her. Without much effort, you could see her little butt cheeks delicately dance below her Hot Topic hem line. The man acted too busy on Snapchat to notice.
"----but he's definitely definitely into me. Omg he's like obsessed!" She thought in her brain and not out loud.
"Next!" came the voice of the woman behind the counter. She was so sweaty, Slutterella was like ew.
Grabbing her change and the discreetly bagged buttplug, Slutterella walked confidently out of the shop. She knew she had crushed that. Owned the scene in there like, what!?
Fresh from her victory in the sex shop, Slutterella practically skipped to 7-11 to get the scratch tickets. She was too lazy to count the change to see if she had enough, but the universe was just kind of telling her, you know, and like she totally totally trusts that.
"----I know it sounds weird but you have to follow your energetic bliss to reach your highest frequency and I really really believe that right now," She thought.
Who was she even talking to? Whatever, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. What was the point of any of this if there was no one to play with her pussy. It just made her so depressed.
---Surely there must be someone nearby that could sexualize me even just for like a second. I'm running out of energy and could use a pick-me-up.
Slutterella's head started swimming. She reached into the bag and touched the buttplug. She had heard about them from her step mother when she was talking on the phone. Slutterella's step mom talked on the phone a lot. Apparently she had a lot of "friends." Slutterella didn't question it. What good ever came of questioning things?
----Let's see. This thing goes in my.....
BAP
"Ahhhohh, oh"
"Oh my goodness!"
---whats happening?
I realize she’s new to the game but she better learn to do the plug walk if she wants to do the plug talk!
Great story, maybe a little more descriptive on the saucy parts would go a long way in keeping the reader.....engaged
Thank you for the vote and follow! We really appreciate your feedback as well. More juicy details are always worth another consideration. The genre here is comedy porn, so the focus tends to be a little less on the sex and more on the jokes, but I can't see why we shouldn't sauce it up a bit. You're not the first to mention the critique. ;)
Slutterella I just get a chuckle out of. Great story! keep them cum'n! 😆
Got a next episode coming down the pike in 2 minutes. So fasten in.
Excellent! looking forward to it 😀