It was a weird day. I did some work in my lab, went home and ate some dinner, but mostly I went to get some coffee. I stood in line for a long time until I finally got a cup, and then I sat down over at a nearby table.
I had my cup in one hand, not really paying attention, until by chance I glanced around the room and noticed this very attractive woman standing nearby.
I couldn't help but notice the way her hair fell down along the sides of her face, or the way the light caught in her eyes. Those things alone had taken my mind right off my work--but there was more. There was something.
I don't know, it's weird. I have nothing against lesbians, I have nothing against people who choose to be that way, but I just...
I sat there, and thought I should say something to her. I would have, because I was standing behind her and she was facing the door, but then she was talking to somebody else, and I thought what the hell, and I walked up with my coffee.
She was early for her date, her mother just died. I had nothing to do with it, but I was there, so I offered to drive her to the funeral.
I didn't really know much about her family, I just thought it would be a nice gesture, you know what I mean? Anyway, she said no, thanks, I don't think I want to go.
So, I told her maybe they would let me in anyway, and I walked off toward the door. I stopped and turned back around and I asked if I could have a piece of paper to write down my number, in case she changed her mind. She laughed, and I don't know why, but I felt something inside me that I hadn't felt for a long time.
I know you wondering why it is I'm writing you, but I'll get to that. Anyway, I walked up and asked her if I could come with her, because I would feel bad about her being in that house alone.
I could tell what she was thinking. She gave me a look and said I need to spend time with my family, now go before I say something I'll regret.
I was giving her an opening and she wasn't taking it, so I just walked off and watched her from the window. She got in the car, and started it, and I was on my way out.
I was thinking about all that I'd said, about how I was in love with her and I just wanted to be with her. Then I thought how stupid that made me, how terribly stupid I was, because I was the one who didn't want me there.
I knew...I knew as long as I had my coffee I'd be able to think about what could have been, at least for however long.
Then I remembered that I'd just seen her step out of McDonald's, and I thought it would be fun to go talk to her there.
You'll have to take my word for it, I was there in a split second. I walked over, waiting my turn at the counter, and we talked a while, I asked her what she was doing that night, and I asked her about herself. She told me she was going to that funeral.
I told her I would go with her, and I grabbed my coffee and I asked her if I could come. She gave me a look again, like she didn't want me there, but I asked again and I talked to her and she allowed me to come with her.
I was trying to think of a place where I should park. It seemed to be a one-way street, so I was going to park either up or down from the house, but I couldn't find a space. I finally found a place a block or two away, so I was okay.
When I got inside, I saw she was just standing there, holding her coat in her hands. I asked her if she was okay, and she said she was, but she was at a loss for what to do.
I asked her if she wanted to go to the park, and she said I have a family, I can't leave without saying something.
I told her I'd see if I could find them. I didn't know much about her family, but I am a doctor, and I knew it would make me feel better if I knew they had somebody to call in the case of something like that.
When I walked into the room, I saw the casket. I felt kind of silly, I mean, it didn't look like anything at all, it was just a plain wooden box. I saw a woman standing by herself, and I went over and I went through my chest-pounding speech again. I remember it word for word, because it was me and her, and whatever I said had to be perfect.
When I walked up to her she was crying, and for a second I was positive I'd done it, she must have thought I was coming there to say I was sorry. I wanted to tell her that I wasn't, that I wasn't sorry, but she just kept on crying.
I handed her a tissue, and she then handed me a piece of paper. I asked her what it was, and she said it was a number. I told her what I was about to do, and I realized, honestly for the first time, how truly stupid I had been.
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