Disclaimer: the below article has some bad words in it. I get passionate about shaving (maybe a little too passionate), so if you don't like bad language, now's your chance to turn back!

Where to begin?

Chances are that you're overspending on your shaving equipment.

You need to fix that. It's burning a hole in your pocket and you aren't getting a truly superior shave (whether you're a man or woman). Like a smoker who kicks their habit, once you start shaving smart, you'll notice your wallet getting fatter, or your other debts getting skinnier.

Let's start from the top

Perhaps you own a Gillette Fusion5, or maybe you even decided to try out a shave-by-mail program, like the Dollar Shave Club. Maybe you've even bought one of those fancy schmancy electric razors (you know, with the interchangeable heads so that you can shave your nostrils, too)?

Oh goody!

Screw that. Throw them out. Give them away to someone you hate so they can get hooked on wasteful shaving equipment.

Why?

If you're using disposables, those refill packs, on top of fucking with our environment, are severely overpriced. Yes, even at those shave-by-mail systems.

If you're using an electric razor, you aren't really getting a close, smooth shave (but hey, maybe stubble is in this time of year, so follow your heart there, skippy). Sure, you can keep using it, but is that really shaving? Is it? (ok, it is, but just go with me on this) Do you want to tell your kids that you use an electric razor, or do you want to tell them that you can handle some serious equipment?

Here's what you need:

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Hey dude, I can get 15 refill packets for $25-$30. That's a pretty good deal!"

No. Hell no. That's a horrible deal. Here's how you should set yourself up.

Prerequisites:

Patience
The ability to follow fucking directions
The urge to stop paying some crappy company way too much money for shoddy equipment

Equipment:

Safety razor:

No, not a straight razor, a SAFETY razor. Yes, you can cut yourself on this if you're used to just ripping the razor against your face/legs/nether regions like some neanderthal, without care for your angle of approach, but once you learn how to use the razor, you'll be smooth as hell. Nervous? HAVE SOME CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF, DAMN IT. Our species went to the moon - you can learn to use a safety razor! Watch a few YouTube videos and give it a go. Don't be a coward - it's not like you're using a butcher knife or a straight razor (baby steps).

Bonus: you can get one for as little as $10 USD, or maybe use one handed down from your ancestors (free!). A good safety razor can be passed along for generations. Your silly little disposable/electric razor? Most likely won't last you through college (oh, and enjoy razor burn while your face gets adjusted when you have to switch between different mechanical models, and they don't cut your precious little hairs the same way). Want to splurge? Sure, I won't judge you if you decide to buy one of those overpriced models from The Art of Shaving, but you can also "splurge" on Amazon for a $32 Merkur.

Razor blades:

You can get 100 blades for $10. Yes, 100 blades. One-zero-zero. That'll last you for more than a year, and it'll only be $10 USD. You can go all in and get a 400 pack for around $32. Or hey, since all razor blades have a bit of a different feel, you can splurge a bit and get a variety pack at a little higher cost. (Me, personally? I spend a little bit more and get 100 of the Feather brand for around $23).

Shaving brush:

This is a personal preference, but I enjoy using a shaving brush along with soap/cream instead of cream from a condensed can. It lasts longer, and it makes me feel like a little prince when I get my shave on. Again, you can spoil yourself here and get a silvertip brush for a shit-ton of money, but if you're starting out, a $9 brush will do. Thank you for your sacrifice, noble badgers. You will not be forgotten.

Shaving cream or shaving soap (bars):

Shaving cream is a luxury item for me, since the soap works just as fine. You can get a fancy, nicely scented bowl of cream for around $16, or you can "rough it" with a discount pack of Williams Shaving Soap to pop into an old mug. 3 for $7, and they last a decent amount of time.

Odds and ends:

For your face, you can grab an alum block for any cuts/sensitive skin as you get used to the shave. Alum blocks are nice. Make the skin feel nice and cool. A bit of aftershave can't hurt, either. You can also get a bunch of stands and other doo-dads for your shaving kit (some people swear by pre-shave oil - I've never used it), but they aren't needed.

So, what's the damage?

Recurring costs (yearly):

$10 (razor blades) + $30 (soap/cream, estimated) = $40

Initial investment (one time only):

$10-$36 (razor) + $10 (brush) = $20 to $46

Extras (as needed):

$8 for the alum block. About the same for aftershave = $16.

So we're looking at around $68 - $100 for your first year of shaving with this fantastic setup, in total. It'll drop $20-$56 (when you account for how long the razor blades can be used) after that (don't need to buy razors and brushes for quite some time), and immediately you should see how much extra you'll be saving.

Compare that to the recurring costs you're paying now.

Bonus: all those razors you're discarding are recyclable, or at least taking up less landfill space.

Parting words

Shaving has been turned into this complicated, money-sucking industry. It doesn't have to be that way. Companies can change to focus on making quality products that will last forever.

But maybe pigs can fly, and rainbows can shoot out of my ass. Yeah, scratch that. Companies won't change. You can, though.

Do your research. Stop paying too much money to get a good shave, whether it's your face, armpits, legs, privvies, or anything else.

Summary video

The below video pretty much hits the nail on the head. Take your Venus razors, your disposables, your "modern" Gillettes, and kiss them goodbye. Write angry letters to whoever you bought them from! THEY SHALL RUE THE DAY THEY BEGAN TO MOVE AWAY FROM TRADITIONAL, LONG-LASTING SHAVING EQUIPMENT!

Note: this user says their blades go months without needing to be changed - I tend to change mine out after around 3 uses. YMMV

So, what can you do with all the money you aren't spending anymore?

Invest in crypto? Put it into savings? Pay off debts? I dunno, I dunno, but it's better than spending it on crap you don't need.

Agree? Disagree? Have something to add? Let me know in the comments below!

All images click to their source.

Please do your own research before buying any specific product - the products linked in this article are just examples.

You're shaving wrong, and your wallet hates you for it