Wow. Glad I read this before bedtime. My mind will go to work on it (while I'm sleeping). Parts of it I had already accepted--there's no place for blame. Once something is done it's done, and, I will not fuel hostility. But the rest of it--"There's no way to control existence and the more we try to control existence...the more out of control we are going to feel..." Well, my mind will be busy tonight.
Hopefully it leads you to some new understanding. :)