It's easy to get caught up on the external environment and everything that is happening. The problem that it seems many of us run into is that we neglect to see ourselves as part of everything that is happening and in that mindset it feels like everything is happening to us. From this perspective, everything can be taken personally and it's easy to get caught up in the victim mentality of it all. The truth that I've found is that nothing is happening to us as we are as much of the happening as we are the one it's happening to in the grand scheme of things. So how do we get unstuck or escape that separatist view of existence?
My experience has been that we have to stop seeing ourselves as separate from the rest of existence and look within ourselves for the answers or acceptance that we are seeking. It's easy to get pissed off when someone cuts in front of us at the checkout line or things don't go the way we planned, but if we look inwards instead of externally for the resolution to these occurrences, we can often find that in some way, we allowed or wanted this thing to happen. We do this through our own thoughts, actions, expectations, and sense of entitlement. The idea that anyone owes us anything needs to be removed to get unstuck.
It takes a lot of mindfulness and self awareness to solve these issues though, and perhaps there in lies the problem. It's a bit of a chicken and the egg situation when it comes to awareness. You can't make yourself aware anymore than anyone else can make you aware of something. It doesn't really matter how it's worded or how many ways it's communicated if someone can't fathom that they lack this intangible thing or that it even exists. Perhaps it's the same reason why people believe in things like magic or the supernatural. It's just their way of understanding, rationalizing, or rejecting something beyond their own comprehension. What I view as spirituality and self awareness can just as easily be viewed as 'woo woo' by someone that doesn't share that perspective.
Acceptance seems to be fundamental to gaining perspective, perhaps the answer stems from there. If we can accept that we have a limited perspective and that others do as well, then perhaps we can take things less personally. It really doesn't even require us to understand the other person's perspective to recognize that their actions are not about us anymore than ours are about them. If people are fundamentally just playing their parts and focusing on themselves, it's rather a waste of time to bother blaming as it's simply giving away our own power to accept things. Blaming a person for cutting you off in the checkout line is kind of comical when you realize that you are both just caught up in the expectation that you have some sort of control of when or how you get somewhere.
If we can see that we are as much a part of reality as anything else, then ultimately it's just giving ourselves a reality check. The person that cut us off is just playing their part as much as we are and if we can see that, then there is no need to react as it's simply our own desire for control that made us upset in the first place. The more hostility and negativity we put out into reality, the more returns to us. We can think of it as karma if we want or just consider it logically. Violence begets violence and peace begets peace. The more we react to the universe, the more it reacts to us. Essentially there is no one to blame but ourselves at the end of the day as we are equally a part of reality.
From this understanding, it seems obvious to me that the more 'stuck' we feel, the more reason we will receive to feel stuck. The more we resist change, the more change will get thrown at us until we stop resisting. There is no way to control existence and the more we try to control existence through other people or things and the environment around us, the more out of control we are going to feel when things don't go according to our plans. On the contrary if we can find peace within ourselves and just accept the universe as it is, it will in turn accept us as we are and the experience, at least in my opinion, is much more enjoyable. Namaste.
I love this! I feel this way sometimes, It's so easy to feel stuck. And we often blame external things, Rather than ourselves for the problems in our lives. Sometimes we also have to accept the change as you said rather than continuously fighting it.
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It seems the more we resist the harder it hits us. Some things just don't make sense or go the way we think we want, but it always works out how it needs to. Thanks for stopping by! :)
Sometimes in life I can’t help but feel “wow things in your life must be going great if that tinny little nothing made you go nuclear and breath fire on everyone.”
In society a small amount of people who seem to have to be “most outraged” at whatever to get the attention they crave is a bit much. Most days when dealing with people I just try to have the mindset that I don’t understand what is going on into their life and a little kindness can go a long way. If not I’ll just get out their way the sooner they are done the sooner they are gone!
I like to think “I can think my way out of most situations in life” that drag me down and cause such a “stuck feeling.” However that in itself is a bit of a trap. I hardly have all the answers and of what I do know I’m no expect most of the time to start with.
As far as being at peace with the universe well that just make things to easy. I'm willing to accept many things can't change and what efforts I could put into them might not change enough to matter. However, I'll still try and create a universe around me that I can enjoy living in.
I get that, I just try to remember that I'm as much the problem as the solution and work it that way. We all end up getting to the same place eventually though, so I don't let it bother me too much if possible. Thanks for stopping by!
What and how we see ourselves is how we are
Very true, except for those people that can't see themselves because they are stuck looking at everything and everyone else. :)
True dat. Other people cannot be a mirror to reflect whom you were.
most ofthe time when we get stuck is because we did not heed to the warnings that are around us, we fail cause we have not been serious of what we are supposed to be doing, at that point we need to step back look at things and then re plan everything a fresh
My only problem with too much planning is the attachment to outcomes (expectations) involved with planning. I think it's important to be mindful of what's actually happening and not be too fixated on our own ideas of what we think we want to happen. Go with the flow so to say.
A lot of people feel like this. "We do this through our own thoughts, actions, expectations, and sense of entitlement." You hit the nail on the head there too!
I agree with you! I especially like this idea. It's stupid to take offense at other people, because they didn't do or say what you wanted. Often you need to let the situation go and you will see how everything falls into place)
Accepting what we can observe and know, understanding that there is a lot of what we cannot perceive, taking responsibility, and acting according to it. :)
Very good post! :)
Great pictures! I've been consistently practicing (and I do mean "practicing":-) mindfulness for almost a year now and I love what you wrote, but my anxious brain and personality make it very difficult for me to get my head around how it is supposed to work. I think that after all this time, I am calmer and better able to accept the things going on around me with equanimity. As for accepting myself for who I am, that is much harder! I'm gonna keep working on it though - I know I'm only torturing myself...
You'll get there, just know it's possible and that's where you're going.
But its human nature that he resist change and also feel any change.. Actually we feel any change and this cause stress and tension.. You are right less feel ll less any resistence
I don't view the point of it as to not feel it or really to react any specific way, I prefer to just not resist change and enjoy the experience.
Yeak now i pick the point completely.. I am agree.. But actually its our nature coz only thinking of not to resist is difficicult then act ll be more dufficult i think..
Wow. Glad I read this before bedtime. My mind will go to work on it (while I'm sleeping). Parts of it I had already accepted--there's no place for blame. Once something is done it's done, and, I will not fuel hostility. But the rest of it--"There's no way to control existence and the more we try to control existence...the more out of control we are going to feel..." Well, my mind will be busy tonight.
Hopefully it leads you to some new understanding. :)
I am so going through this reality check, since my perception has changed into a spiritual one and I started understanding everything from a new perspective, I had problems. I felt like everything was happening to me, and being a in sort of victim state of mind. But that's changing these days and I can feel and see it. Especially because I am living in a big household these days. So this post means a lot to me and it barely happens that someone in steemit has affected me that much with their words. Thank you and resteemed! Much love :)
I'm glad you found my post valuable to you. Thanks for the kind words and for checking it out! :)
Wow!
I've been trying to apply the law of attraction and this seems to be the perfect explanation.
Lately, I've realised that the more peace you can cultivate within (by accepting what you can't change), the easier it is to accept and deal life challenges.
Thanks for sharing
Blessings
I totally agree with your 'woo woo' perspective.
Life is a game. You just have to know the rules. If you want peace be peace.
I truly like philosophy & psychology very much.. i liked "a chicken & the egg situation" topic much... 😁👍
I think the problem is, the whole country has that mentality, that someone owes them something!
Exploring Nature and facing little hurdles you'll remember that for long time
Amazing participant Glorious thank you for sharing
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Very nic posts.
I need a break right now. That looks like the perfect place. :)
Joy
################we fail cause we have not been serious of what we are supposed to be doing, at that point we need to step back look at things and then re plan everything a fresh
Pretty flowers. If I have to pick a rose I'd have to say yellow is my favorite shade. All are pretty to look at though. Have a happy Valentine's Day.
@clayboyn is a life coach, speaker, podcast host, and inspired entrepreneur. Her work is centered around the idea of reclaiming your instinct—a practice focused on quieting the clamor
it amazing post
I usually play with my friends when I'm out
Greeting
Ditop
Yes,thank you adventure
Happy Valentines Day!