I know that all too well! Definitions are very important, but it can be too much. It makes a lot more sense to just say "My definition of XYZ is ...", and then go to the topic. Instead of the other saying "oh, that's a wrong definition!" and then start quacking about definitions instead of getting to the point and discussing something meaningful. If someone has a different definition, I usually try to accept theirs and adapt to it instead of falling into that non-productive-pattern.
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ridiculous to spend so much time arguing without moving an inch, and yet there are plenty of people who find this to be a great way to spend an evening.