Human history can be broken down into two basic periods: The Before Time, when we used to go where our needs were; and The Now, where we essentially stay put, and bring our needs to us in some way.
And I wish, as part of our 10 year national census, we could find out more about what makes people move. The superficial reasons are probably obvious... new job, married and choosing the partner's location, etc.
But wouldn't it be interesting to find out, when someone relocates (to another city? another state? how do we define a "relocation event"?), some of the deeper reasons for the move?
Or, more to my point, how many people WANT to leave their current living location, but for whatever reason, cannot?
How many of us are happy where we are?
Right now, it's motherf#$king cold where I am. It gets this way every January, and it's no surprise. I've lived somewhere in the Northeast all my life, and for the longest time I was used to it, and it was even a source of pride to some extent; I'd laugh while people in the mid-atlantic would panic over an inch of snow, while i would be out in my Dodge Horizon driving around in the middle of a Nor'easter, before the 2-3 feet piled up and it wouldn't move any more. I cut my ice-driving skills on the streets of Rochester and Norwich... ran a friend's car (gently) into a utility pole once, spun out that little Horizon on a backroad where nobody would have found me for days.
It was safe to say, overall, I was happy where I was.
These days, not so much.
These days, the cold just plain hurts. Not just in a wind-biting-your-face kinda way, but before, during and after the temperature drops. A deep ache, in the bones and, sometimes it seems, in the very soul. And in some ways, it's combined with unhappiness in where I am in my mind as well as my GPS coordinates.
Working out - getting this out of shape body moving again - would help. I know it would. And when the weather is warmer, I'm more inclined. But that's not when I need it most. Right now, sitting at the computer in this shitty chair, stiff as a rusted doorhinge... this is when I need to get up and move. I'll feel warmer, my body will loosen up, and after, I can take a hot shower and feel even better.
Will I still be happy where I am? To be honest, I don't think so. After all these years living in the four seasons of upstate NY, I'm starting to feel a pull towards something new. And it scares me, because I've never lived, for any length of time, more than 4 hours away from the nearest family and friends.
The last few times I was by the ocean, were the times when I felt happy about where I was. It's cliché as f#$k, but there's something about the ocean that affects me pretty deeply. Sitting by it, living near it, waking up and hearing its never-ending churn. I know eventually that's where I want to be.
I'm not quite ready for that kind of move yet, financially or emotionally. But it's coming. And in the meantime, I need to figure out how to be happy where I am. Where I am physically, and with my heart. My marriage. My fatherhood, my bank statements.
Because I know that relying on those things for happiness is, as I said in a prior post, a fool's errand.
Where are you right now, reader? Where are you physically, and where are you in your mind? If you're not quite where you want to be, how are you moving forward? What are you learning, and what can you teach me, about living in this moment, so as not to squander happiness for want of future change?
I am happy where I am. I have always been happy right where I am, ever since about 2006 when I discovered what yoga is. Physically, that's when I need to lose 50+ pounds, and I was ecstatically happy doing it from day 1 while still being fat. Most people move to yoga because they need therapy and if done right, yoga removes the need for psychiatry. Even happy both physically and mentally, I am moving forward to new goals to be even better than I am at any one moment. The want of future change is not at the behest of squandering happiness. Not being happy means at its core that one does not love him or herself, and is seeking some love that is missing. This is also the thing that endless therapy will not fix, but the person simply needs to connect with the love that is there at every moment and be happy. Then the desire for future change takes place in happiness.
@oranuf I fully think it is possible to be happy where you are at, regardless of what it is. BUT I do feel that part of being happy, is when we realize its time to change and we make decisions that will help to fulfill the needs that may be unmet. When we are moving (even if it's not physically), we can find happiness in that we can find appreciation in moving towards someplace that better serves us.
I totally feel you on the cold. I used to live in Wisconsin. Just visited there for the holidays. It was -20. Long story short: I live in texas now. Best decision ever!
I wish you all the best my friend and I hope you make the decisions you know are right for yourself! I'd love to hear your thoughts on my two minute thought experiment: [INTERACTIVE INSPIRATION EXPERIMENT] Could You Feel Better In 2 Minutes? Find Out Now!