Holding You Dear

Holding You Dear... can mean so many things to different people. I look forward to hearing what it means to you (get those comments rolling!). To me?

When I first hear those words, I suppose I first jump to the literal, and you might too.

Holding. "I'm holding you, dear." Not hugging. Holding. Like you'd hold a shiny penny in the palm of your hand, or hold a woman who's lost all hope, preventing her from jumping.

Then there's the more abstract. If I look at you, and with sincerity and true love in my eyes and my heart and say "I'm HOLDING you..." - well, let me rephrase that. If YOU were to look at ME and say it, and I can sense your true sincerety -- in your eyes, your face, your voice, perhaps as you held my hand... all the clues and our history together that tell me you're safe and trustworthy -- if you say those words to me, the result for me is a feeling in the core of my chest. Warm, reassuring... a focus on me that cannot be ignored or marginalized by either of us. I'm loved, I'm cared for, perhaps even protected. What part of your body do YOU feel it? If you don't think you'd feel it, why not?

Of course, people use the words too easily. "I hold you in my thoughts and prayers" is a (f#$KING) trigger these days. We've all heard the arguments, that people use those words to replace action. That's not what I'm talking about here, and that doesn't need to be rehashed. We all know that people have thoughts and prayers for others, and we know they mean well, even if instead of those thoughts and prayers writ large in a facebook post about some tragedy could be replaced with something much more meaningful. We know they mean well, but we also know it's tiresome to hear, almost as tiresome as the nearly hourly tragedies we are now exposed to in the 24-hour news cycles, the social media feeds, the conversations overheard in the coffee shops and diners.

The fact remains, when used with sincerity, when used at an appropriate time, the words "I'm holding you"... the physical act of holding another sentient being, or some other way of acknowledging them - not just pain, but really ANYTHING, even good times too - are pretty powerful, for BOTH parties. When you hold an experience dear, it's almost as if you've lived it twice.

Want to be happy? Hold every living thing DEAR. Even those thoughts-and-prayers people. At the end of your rope? Feel like everything is up to you, that nobody's on the same page, that nobody has the same goals, incentives, or feelings that you have? That things that matter to you, simply don't matter to anyone or anything around you? Feel like you're stuck in a loop, or a dead end?

Take a breath and hold it, and hold yourself dear.

Let it out, and take another breath, and hold it, and then...

Hold everything, everyone, every being dear too.

Let it blanket you.

Nothing will snap you out of your moment like the idea that all the other beings you share this universe with, can be held "dear" in some way. That whole universe? It serves both no purpose, and every purpose... there is something in that dichotomy that, when it is all held dear, it can heal you, fill in some of the gaps you're feeling. And when that happens, when your wounds have been tended, it is infectious.

When you hold another being dear, even if they do not hold themselves dear, the blanket covers both of you. You don't have to SAY "I'm holding you dear" because the actions that go with truly doing so speak louder. You don't need to announce that you're unfolding the cloth, just lay the blanket.

All those other people, places, things? We depend on them, good and bad, to have a truly full living experience. Hold them dear, and you're reminding yourself AND them that we are all part of our experience here in this life, and that is important. Something to hold dear. It gets easier when you remember that without all of it, good and bad, the experience is much less rich, and more is on your own shoulders to create your experience alone.

Be sure to remember to carry the blanket with you... try not to rely on the blankets of others, because there's a good chance you'll be disappointed. Remember that you're always carrying your own, and you'll be surprised how big and warm it can be, for yourself, and anyone else you hold... Dear.