I was going to make a post about it as well since it's a very important topic, but you've covered most of the points and done so really well.
People hold on and defend what they believe because it can end up being tied to their identity. It's far easier to stay in the same spot then it is question everything, because questioning yourself could lead to the possibility of you being wrong, and depending how attached you are to a belief or viewpoint, being wrong is extremely painful. It's like someone reaching in and taking your heart out.
Yeah.. Actually.. I just became aware of a study recently that showed people go into a sort of fight or flight physical reaction when key beliefs are challenged.. And I notice this in myself sometimes, though I don't think it's as bad as I see with a lot of others, for the most part..
So literally, when we are arguing or debating we are sort of, fighting with our egos, and if you are to be wrong and humble yourself enough to admit you're wrong, then your old self dies.. So it's kinda like part of you is really dying.. But.. most people can never admit they are wrong, so most debates end in neither side changing their viewpoint, and often becoming even more entrenched in their own.
But.. If you're okay with ego death and truly trying to get to the bottom of things to the best of your ability, I think it's a lot easier.
Thanks for the thoughtful response! I feel like this is a really important subject. It deserves more to be said about it in general!