If a meal at a restaurant is consumed and no one posts a picture, was it eaten at all?
How much of what we do is for us and how much of it is so we can post about it on one of the myriad social sites? When we go on holiday, we rush to get the photos uploaded and show our friends how fabulous our lives are. when we go to a concert we check-in and let everyone know we are enjoying ourselves. Coffee with a friend requires shots of the cake and cappuccino and a night out, photos of the empty drinks and silly faces. And when there is nothing going on? A selfie to remind people that even though we aren't somewhere fabulous, we are not dead.
And, then we wait for the likes, the hearts, the thumbs up and stars and comments to come pouring in and if they don't, we feel empty.
Are we living life publicly or are we publicity living?
So much of this life has been turned into a product, including ourselves. We curate our experience to show our personal goods in the best light, develop a strong reputation and drive for brand awareness. Build and engage our audience.
Life's experience has become a marketing opportunity, a chance to share who we are with the world, show what we have to the world. A new car is not limited to a status symbol on the road, it is digitised and shared to maximise exposure, a bunch of flowers from a husband appears in a news feed as a declaration of devotion and deserving.
How much is enjoyed, and how much is missed while adjusting for the perfect angle, manoeuvring for a better light, enhancing through filters of the phone, text and mind? I see people in cafes taking photos of their joint experience but barely talk while they each stare at screens. Well, other than to ask if that filter does it justice or not?
I am guilty of this too, especially when I travel. I have a camera with me always but walking along the Seine in Paris next to my wife, I should be holding her hand, not the shutter button. At least sometimes.
But, it gets worse for some, it is not just a display of their life, it is a way of life and they begin to crave the attention, it justifies their experiences, it feeds their hunger for validation and without it, they get depressed, angry and bitter. The same when criticism swings their way.
They want to live in the open as long as those that watch do not speak out against them or disapprove of their methods or choices. They only want to be adored and when the adoration is not forthcoming, they strive harder, push for more, increase their activities, shift the lines they have marked in the sand.
How quickly their behaviors change, from the positive quotes to the complaints of bullying, the show of strength to the outpouring of tears. But, is it real or is it another part of the marketing plan. I suffer too, I am a victim too. Give me sympathy. Adore my courage to remove the facade and show my true self, no make up, tears streaming. More curation of experience, more audience engagement.
But, is it their fault or the society we build? This is an attention economy after all, we are born into a world where we must impress for a chance of success. The practical skills that were impressive in the past have been replaced by the ability to give the impression of skills. It doesn't matter if it can or can't do, it is market sentiment that drives value after all.
The trick is to turn the attention away from the fraying threads, the chipped edges, the dust in the corners. All of the likes, the comments, the hearts and stars are of little comfort in the darkness sitting alone. Little help when real help is needed.
The feed may be full while the soul depletes and then one day, the platform we held so dear, the one where we got all of those followers and our foundation for self-worth... This site can't be reached. What then, where do we go? Where do we post and get our love from strangers we will never know? All my history wiped away...
Another platform will arrive, something new where nobody knows our names. Time to reinvent, put on another mask, a rebirth to manipulate and grab the attention of the inattentive.
A new me, until I no longer know who is the real me.
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default. It means to make your life what you want it to be yourself, and not live it by being dictated to by someone else's standards and perceptions.
Too many people do what they feel other's would respond well to for recognition, acceptance or perceived gain. How interesting it would be if selfies were taken but never shown to anyone but the person taking it. I wonder if as many would get taken...
phones should have a selfie counter.
...and a self-destruct mechanism if the counter clicks over one too many times... Oh, hang on I think I just thought of a way Apple can generate more phone sales...Instead of slowing their speed so users get annoyed and have to buy a new one just self-destruct it!
Haha. I'd be very afraid of my count from 2017. Like you @galenkp when I sorted my photos our I was shocked at to how many similar photos I had taken, many with my giant head imposing on the view as that's what got engagement on Insta. Not the case on steemit which is a nice change. I'm enjoying taking photos for the view rather than for the engagement. Although in saying that am I not just chnaging my habits to suit anoyher forum. Food for thought.
Life unfolds in the present. But so often, we let the present slip away, allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized, and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate about what's past.
Since starting my blog in April my life has been a whirl of daily photos and sharing my life. Something up until then I had not done outside the general feed scroll with the occasional post. What I have noticed is that people engage really well with the positive side of my life but post something real on other SM sites and my engagement drops. It's like I'll follow you so long as you only post the best part of your day. Which brings about a false sense of what someones life is like. We then base of life off what we see and if it doesn't match up to what we see on another's pages it's depressing.
Fact is the only life we need to compare ourselves to is our own. Betterment of your self. That's one thing I enjoy about steemit. There seems to be more real interaction on a deeper level and no one minds if your true to yourself.
Yes...yes...Yyyyesssssss... :) Well said.
"Fact is the only life we need to compare ourselves to is our own. Bettrment of your self"
Just in the last 10 or so years of me using social media, it started with the website hi5.com, then Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Reddit, and now Steemit. Starting from the bottom for each and out of nowhere comes another social media with a new set of rules and expectations.
Maybe these kind of transitions are fun little challenges for everyone; only a certain subset actually succeed in some way on the platform while others don't so instead they turn to finding cons of the same platform. Then comes a brand new idea out of nowhere, people migrate over to it, and the cycle continues.
Not everyone can do this but I think being mindful of how something is affecting one's life is the best way to keep things in balance. One may be making a ton of money on Steemit, for instance, but if this is affecting their personal life with friends and family, affecting their sleep schedules, exercise schedules, etc., is it the platform's fault or is it the person's fault?
Regarding filming and digitally capturing all of our moments, I think this is fine as long as, again, it doesn't affect other aspects of our lives. I LOVE taking pictures of food, people, places, anything but most of them aren't to post. I just enjoy going back and looking at them when I'm missing those moments for whatever reason.
Overall, I enjoy new platforms cuz I view them as a challenge of some sort. You gotta figure out how it works and how you can make it work FOR you and your interests. All this takes intelligence, hard work, and maybe luck and at the end, you learn something that may or may not be useful!
@tarazkp Great point raised. I've always thought that people prefer to live in the past and that's why they can't let go. People sacrifice their present in order to capture the perfect digital memory so they can live that moment in the future; a moment they never actually fully experienced in the past.
interesting isn't it. An experience remembered but not actually lived.
Our life force is always being used to create. And, we have used our life force to create Technical Intelligence. For me I look at what and how am I creating with my life force. Am I empowering others, and myself? Am I creating with integrity? I can say yes to these questions today. I also feel that we are moving into a time of transparency and in being transparent there will be little left unknown. In using Social Media we have a way to support one another and connect to people we would not otherwise know. I do not feel like this is creating a different me, I feel it is allowing me to create more authentically and openly.
Good post! You definitely made a good point about cameras and technology distracting us from the moments we will never get back with our loved ones. I am guilty of this for sure.
I am guilty of taking too many pictures but I think most photographers are guilty of that. But I love to be out in the real world and connecting personally with others. So I try to be aware that I need a balance. Sometimes I give too much of myself in one area and then another area in my life suffers. But that is apart of life sometimes.
It became a new trend that will become more stronger with the next generation. We will reach a level where likes or comments determine our value in the society. People are getting more obsessed with social media and cant realize the difference between real life and virtual life anymore.
I'm trying to find the right balance of this issue right now, since I love documenting my memories but never had the courage to share them. I love writing journal entries and taking pictures, but whenever anyone asked me to share I would get super embarrassed. I hope I can press record and publish the results without interfering with real life or pandering to an audience.
it is a challenge always I think. Every time I post I still get this twinge somewhere. Will it be accepted, is it too wordy, not enough, will it be seen as quality, if it gets high rewards, will I be judged badly.... I do my best to be me. Come what may... including the twinges.
Exactly! I think my twinge is the feeling that making something public means I'm declaring it "good", when inside I feel like it's never going to be good enough. I think authentic self-expression is a better goal than perfection.
Wow next level exposure man! So behind all of this debunking the craving for attention is just another craving?
great post man very informative and interesting
love to read it.
I am very motivated with your writing this, thanks for share your experience..
It’s true. We all have moments like this. But there’s a point when life says: enough!
Life asked death:
Why does everyone love me and they always hate you?
Death replied:
Because you are a beautiful lie and I a painful truth!
I am not totally sure if these words next are yours or not.
But.. I kind of found in my notes, a remarkable quartet of paragraphs that prolly are of one of your older posts. That I suspect, might be pretty relevant and worth to highlight on this post. :)
Probably your own words in a far away timeline:
¿Do you feel something has changed lately?