So my girlfriend walks in the room after I asked her to pick up some veggie burgers from the grocery store, stating my intention to rack up some more rewards points. I asked her simply, and in my opinion nothing short of nice and jovial if she used the card, and if she got the points. Immediately she says "she knows how to get the points" as if defending her ability to get the points instead of responding to my actual question. I've noticed this often in our dialogues.. Instead of responding to what I'm saying she responds to what she thinks I'm saying or of what she interprets me saying. Anyway this lead to small argument as I defending myself by stating that I was simply asking if she got the points, nothing more - and that there was no hidden message in regards to her ability to get the points like she had stated.
She then launches into a non stop verbal outpouring of this and that and everything else, meanwhile saying how stupid it is that I'm analyzing this.. I actually resorted saying "please" repeatedly as she was talking.. and she still wouldn't stop.. She wouldn't stop talking about it meanwhile telling me that I'm going on about it too much. 
And saying that she knows how to do these things, she's done it before. And that she had a great time outside and that now that she is back it is so negative. All I'm trying to do is suggest that she not read into it, and actually listen to what I'm saying. She literally said repeatedly that I was the one in the wrong because I implied with language that she didn't know how to get the points, when all I did ask was whether she did get the points or not. This frustrated me because the issue becomes a deeper because it goes into interpretation. So I then started to dig into this topic (her hearing something else other than what is said) and instead of allowing me to explore this she went on about how stupid it is, and how bad I am for bringing this up, and all the rest of the things I've done wrong.
Anyway I hope I get the point one of these days.
Hey man!
Did you listen to her though? Us humans, we're great at analysing other people but not ourselves. Did you fully take in what she was saying when she went off on some crazy rant? I ask because there's often snippets that come out of heated arguments. I like to let my wife talk and then once she's done I question her about it.
I'm not saying you haven't done this, but it's worth a shot if you haven't!
"We must first look at our own behaviour with others if we truly want others to change their behaviour towards us"
:)
Thanks for responding.. I took your advice and listened more.. I see more of her points and how this communication thing works. It was a struggle but I think it paid off! :)