4 years ago I was the in a state of complete bliss. I would walk down the steeets and see nothing but beauty. I sat and watched people and scenery and felt my heart overflowing with joy. I had wonderful friends surrounding me. I was thankful for every moment.
Ironically, I was nearly homeless. I slept on flea infested sofas and was only able to sleep a bare minimum in such an inconvenient lodging. I was truly happy but I was powerless, disconnected from society, and not very convinced I would be able to live a long and healthy life.
Fast forward one year. I had moved to a new city to change my situation. I worked full time and felt the stress of the working life deeper than I cared to. I felt totally alone and depressed. I had lots of money suddenly but I would waste big chunks on it on fleeting moments that reminded me of how I had felt before. "This is only temporary" I said. Eventually my body couldn't take any more and I quit, spending all my funds on trying to heal my body, forced back into a life similar to the one I had before. Happy but disempowered.
This has been a cycle I have been seeing in my life since the time I was young. I try to be content with myself and find myself disconnected from others, unable to really make a change or be appreciated, not able to reap the benefits of any of the love that I share. Then I'll go back to doing things "their way" and I'll find I have the power and ability to influence, but that I am no longer myself, no longer on my path, a sell out without a purpose. And so I quit and the cycle continues.
Recently, however, something has changed. As I have mentioned in some recent posts, I've tried to eliminate judgement from my inner dialogue. I've almost completely stopped trying to fight what's outside and put my energy entirely into balancing what is inside.
This has allowed me to see the lessons in everything that happens. What I perceive as negative is actually just there to challenge me to rise above it. I rise above it by accepting it as part of my current situation but remaining firm in my vision and purpose, letting go of fear and insisting on loving life whatever happens. As soon as I do that, if I do it effectively, it no longer has any power over me and promptly moves out of my way. It seems I've finally found a way to break the cycle.
The first time I found inner peace, when I was poor and broken, I would accept anything at came and leave it to that. I stopped exherting any force on my situation in order to avoid any kind of resistance. And so I was totally content no matter what, but my situation kept getting worse. Later I tried to exert force and found myself completely incontent but with that power I had been missing.
Now when I see something I don't like, I don't define it as bad. I recognize it as something I do not enjoy and would like to move away from. I don't get any of my emotions wrapped up in it, denying it any power over me. This allows me to keep my inner peace without succumbing to the whims of the outside. I can expert my force on such a thing without letting it have power over me and so I can actually work towards removing that unwanted thing.
My days are filled with positivity and beauty again but now I am able to sculpt them to my liking. There are still roadblocks along ground the way but each serves as a lesson to catapult me even further into my dreams!
As these ideas are still finding the words I will have to write a part 2 once I find them. I hope this will be helpful in its current form for now though.
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Oh wow this is sooo me at the moment I have just started to come to this conclusion i think fully coming around to it tho takes time meanwhile perhaps its best to just do as much to meet your basic needs so you can focus as much on you as possible. Theres a delicate balance between work and peace... needs vs sanity. Peace has to come first even if you have to go without the extras its so true when your bogged down with work you have them all but still unhappy lol
I found it helpful to reject any negative thoughts that come into my mind. It took about two weeks to foster the habit, it whenever I have a thought that judges something as bad, I try to turn it over and look for a more productive, positive way to approach it, or something else to replace it with. It's funny, thoughts can actually be tamed to your will.
I hear you fully @whatamidoing. I like to use the statement... "all pain, fear, and stressors are just gifts in strange wrapping paper." This repurposes the experience I am having into something that (which may have been seemingly negative) can actually be useful and resourceful.
I enjoyed this read! Would love to hear your thoughts about my recent post about making big life changes: You must DIE to FLY
Thank you for sharing. It really sounds a lot like the Meditation app often suggests, non-judgemental, self-loving etc. And it does help to make a step back and not to involve oneself in everything.
:-) so far I haven't been much of a meditator but it seems I've found a lot of other ways to apply certain aspects of it to daily life. This can be just as useful I think
I think you hit the nail on the head - and touched on the difference between blind optimism - "The Secret"'s brand of what I call delusional positivity - and reality. Reality being removing the labels and dogma of good vs. bad. Things just are. Bad and good are (mostly) artificial societal concepts instilled and imposed on us since childhood. A form of control to ensure conformity.
What you wrote also reminds me of the Buddhist/Hindu concept of detachment.
My twisty mind also drew some parallels to a recent Tarot class topic - there are no bad cards, only bad interpretations (there's an idea for a Steemit post...).
Such a thoughtful post to warm up my mind on this cold, snowy day ...and congratulations on these truths you've come across in your journey. Thank you for sharing with us!!
You saw right rough me here! I wrote a part two that goes even more on that direction. The secret basically provides a piece of the puzzle and acts as if it's the whole.
Totally. I think the Secret was an intro for most people. I know I was wowed the first time I saw it and read it. Easily accessible and digestible (albeit, a pinch delusional). The most important piece of the puzzle it lacks is that TAKE ACTION aspect. I read somewhere that any interviews referencing action were cut as they went against the - imagine good shit and it will magically appear motif lol.
Very nice perspective.
Positive and negative reactions are an internal navigation system!
Yes, exactly! I was struggling to put this into my best words without ripping off the ideas from others since there is a lot of me in there as well
Great article. Resteemed! This is a powerful piece of writing full of lessons I and many others need to put into practice. I have lived this cycle over and over. Time to reframe the situation. Thanks for the good read.
Thanks for the kind words! Let me know if you need any help staying on track!
Great positive vibe post @whatamidoing ! So glad that your days are filled with Positivity again and you decided to share your awesome story with us in my #popcontest ! Good luck , upped and resteemed !✌👍🙏😊
Thanks! You are doing really great things for steemit. I'll be watching more carefully!
Awesome thanks for your kind reply back !✌😊
I'm glad that you feel better now. It is nice to feel positive and see sunshine every day, while at the same time not being blind to reality.
I think bitcoins and steemit helped me greatly. I don't think I can go back to working full time again, but only when I don't really have a choice. I think living a simple life and just being happy with what we have is they key.
Yeah, I can recognize a shit sandwich when I see one! ;-) I've managed to set myself up working just a little freelance. Life is perfect but I'd like to be able to amass some money and resources while living like this so that's where steemit Patreon and crypto come in!
Thanks for sharing your struggles.