Love doesn’t have to feel like a ship that’s always sinking...
Jordan Year. Image via Pretty Decent.This is a part of an annual series. This post originally appeared on my blog, Pretty Decent, which I am slowly but surely migrating here. If you all find this post interesting, I'd be happy to share years 22 and 21 as well.
Hello my Pretty Decent friends. It’s November 22 again, which means it’s time for my yearly list of advice you didn’t ask for.
I write these as a therapeutic exercise, but also for vanity purposes so everyone else looks forward to my birthday as much as I do. This birthday is weird, sad and difficult, though, and I briefly considered not writing anything for it at all.
Fortunately for you, “not writing” really isn’t in my nature. So here it is: the biggest lessons I’ve learned ahead of my 23rd year of life. I hope you feel at least one of them.
23 Lessons I've Learned By 23
1 - You don’t have to be everything at once, even though you definitely could be if you tried.
2 - Cliches had to be true before they became a cliche. Going against popular wisdom really doesn’t need to be, like, your whole thing.
3 - Long distance doesn’t work without trust.
Image via Pretty Decent.4 - You have your entire life to make better art. Just keep making art.
5 - “There’s more to life than hearing stuff and being mean to me.” – Chance the Rapper
6 - I am at my best when I am listening to music. I am my happiest when I can talk openly about the ways music moves and affects me. This is a largely personal realization that will probably affect my career and lifestyle choices moving forward.
7 - Okay, but for real: don’t buy expensive things on Ebay from anyone with no other sales. These jerks will legitimately mail a letter to another person in your zip code, therefore showing up as “Delivered” in Ebay’s system and (try to) cheat you out of your hard-earned money.
8 - Love doesn’t disappear as fast as you think it will or need it to. Sometimes it sticks around like a habit you can’t shake. It’s okay to use old memories like pillows at night. You’re a human beeeeing. Nicki Minaj voice
Image via Giphy, c/o MTV9 - Mantras work. Money flows to me like rivers, etc. etc.
10 - Blindly confident is the only way to be. When you think about the sheer number of people who are really out here doing things, it’s a bit silly to think they’re all feeling totally secure, right? Like, wouldn’t it make more sense to imagine they’re just living their life and hoping no one that knew them in middle school is sitting around making fun of them?
11 - Acts of self-care are absurdly important.
12 - Any time you make a noticeable change, people are going to comment on it. The most important human trait is humility, followed closely by a sharp sense of humor.
13 - I know I said this last year, but Stila Stay-All-Day liquid liner and Nyx matte lip cream in Cannes are really still it.
14 - I don’t think people were meant to be exposed to the opinions of everyone in the world at once. (Don’t read the Twitter replies.)
15 - EDM is not for me.
16 - There are things that are your own that will never be anyone else’s. The way you write. The freckles on your knee. The reason you always came back to them.
Image via Pretty Decent17 - Intuition is very real.
18 - God is very real, too.
19 - Addiction is real and it will take the people that you love.
20 - Love doesn’t have to feel like a ship that’s always sinking. That “chaotic love” may be necessary at some point, and it’ll certainly feel like the world. But I have to believe that it’s not the only way love can be.
21 - Don’t text or tweet when you’re drunk.
22 - The picture is not more important than the moment.
23 - Somewhere between “I need to grow the fuck up” and “I need to be patient with myself” is acceptance and self-love.
21's a big one.
Lolol it's really never worth it. I should amend it to include "Don't post selfies to your story, either."
To much personal experience with that one...
Great takeaways and life ponderings, definitely relate and reflect with some of them. Love 4, 6, 8, 11, 12, 16. Thank you for sharing, prettydecent! Lovely stuff.
Thank you, @deeptechhouse! Sorry about 15 :p Really appreciate you reading it!
Nothing to be sorry about, I quite share your views :P
Not a fan of EDM either, I love good House and Techno music and I don't know if I'd personally call what I love to share and mix EDM, that word means something else to me.
In fact could it be that I can change your views on electronic music? :) If not, all good, any music that makes people happy is good music, so I never judge people's music preferences ♥️
I'm down for some referrals! Sorry if I mixed them up -- I really know nothing about the genre. :) I like Flume-y, glittery music. I just have bad experiences with live electronic music -- it makes me anxious :(
I thought Flume was very much so considered EDM 🤔 See, that's what I mean, this whole label thing is no good 🤣 But yea, if you like Flume, then probably I can't give much recommendation, I am into more of an opposite of glittery music heh. But I just meant check out some of the Tune of the Day posts on my blog, pretty subjective of course, but I like to think I have a decent nose for some good electronic stuff.
But now I am curious, maybe you could throw a couple of names into my hat, I like expanding my horizons!
Hahaha yes, but he is like my threshold of EDM that my ears can take -- lots of lyrics. I think what happens is when I can feel the artist manipulating my energy up and down through drops, I get overwhelmed. At least at live shows. Flume never really drops that hard so I can take it, plus it's glittery lol! I will check out your posts, though.
As for my taste, I mostly listen to rap. I really liked Vince Staples' album Big Fish, which had some beautiful production! I also listen to a lot of J Dilla which is nearly all instrumental. :)
J Dilla is amazing, as a producer, I respect him immensely for the kind of stuff he did and the amount of passion he put into music. Truest inspiration! I will check out Vince Staples' stuff as you definitely have an eclectic taste in music.
The electronic music I personally love is more of a deeper, darker kind perhaps, more mellow and introspective, less of a "in-your-face" sound design, but more minimal and atmospheric, or in case of Techno just raw and hypnotic :) So I often suggest people give a more traditional house and techno a try if they got into electronic music via festival EDM :)
Awesome list! I especially like #3 - Long distance doesn’t work without trust, and #14 - I don’t think people were meant to be exposed to the opinions of everyone in the world at once. (Don’t read the Twitter replies.) True dat!
Long distance relationships are hard! But it's amazing when you can see it through and when love sticks around even though life seems to throw so much in the way. Keep it up with the fabulous posts, my friend! :)
Thank you so much for reading! :)
4, 11, 17, 23 - my favs! Great post here...and happy...very belated... birthday!
Hahah thank you!! I appreciate you reading.
This is great insight, and most are still relevant when you turn 30!
Yay!! Good to know I'm (mildly, very mildly) prepared. Thank you!
cool pic nice blog :) I vote and fallow
9 - Mantras work. Money flows to me like rivers, etc. etc.
Could you expand on this one? I am quite curious.
15 - EDM is not for me. ~ HAHAHAHA. I love this.
This was an intresting perspective, thanks for sharing this.
I really like this idea of documenting things you have learnt. Maybe you should do it every year? 22 btw, yes girl. I totally hear you.
"hoping no one that knew them in middle school is sitting around making fun"
It's kind of releasing to know that I'm not the only one having that thought from time to time :)
I love this and I can totally relate... 23 is such a weird age... I am personally stuck between not knowing what to do and trying to be patient and letting things flow... NO. 17 to the End is just me right now..