I Can't Have It All

This photo is mine.

Someone I met online asked me,
"Are you happy? Do you feel complete?"

Most people posted achievements and places they travelled in 2023 as 2024 came. Some people posted that being alive, wasn't given to depression is great enough to celebrate.

As for me, nothing seems to be unusual for me to have something to fuss about.

When I was asked if I'm happy or I feel complete, it made me contemplate hard enough to count my blessings and lessons.

I was having a hard time yes, but I think I was anle to cope up with it by not thinking about it, like those things and people alike that gives me a hard time is not there, they don't exist. Yes, I felt like I live like zombie for the past month; I don't think much and I don't reflect much as I used to.

Honestly, I tried to type and post something on New Year to have something to remember by in my old age but the site wasn't cooperative. My phone lagfed and it wasn't saved so I dropped it. I was too upset to begin again.

I'm getting rusty to collect and arrange my thoughts and since I'm not active for a while, no one will really read this. Haha

--
Back to the question, I did answer maybe.

Maybe I'm doing good enough, I think this is enough. I have Christ, I have church folks, I have family, I have community, I have store, I have pets and I have friends.

This 2024, I made my resolution that I won't be rapacious, getting greedy of whatever and whoever. Those who'll stay in my circle stays and those who wanna leave, I'm letting them leave. If my pet die, I'll cry or mourn for a day or two and I'll move on. If I'll lose some of my favorite t-shirt, I have to get over it, fast.

God is more than able to supply what I need and as to what I don't have, I don't need it, or yet.

I have major lacks now, like my dream farm and folks pressure me to have a husband and kids; as they're not given yet, I don't need it yet.

I can't have it all, aren't I?

May I always find contentment in our situation and in what iy have, may I always learn to be grateful.😌

This is diary thing, thanks for reading. 🫰 Happy New Year!