The way you experience your difficult feelings is explained by the pattern of negative thinking put forward by CBT @kay-khosa. It is all about challenging those thoughts and try to make difference sense of them. Try to change the meaning and the interpretation you give to those thoughts. I know this is easier said than done. But, the secret is not to try t achieve this overnight!
I am so sorry you found the post a bit difficult and long! I swear I thought of you when I finished writing it. I even told my husband :D I promise I will be more concise next time :)
I wish you peace of mind and all the best.
Hahahaha.. that is so nice of you, you have identified the problem so cure me as well :D
Write in your own natural way but people here have different educational backgrounds. I find it difficult to follow, dont know about others.
I find you a very nice person. May God give you health, wealth and Peace of mind.
;)