Often, people's lives are full of recurring problems and stories. Some of us are constantly in a state of strong dependence on others, have problematic relationships or feel lonely and rejected by society, periodically fall into depression and are chronically dissatisfied, others experience fears and insecurity in themselves, and this hinders them in all spheres of life.
In most cases, the source of these recurring problems is in past events and experiences in childhood that have left lasting traces in our subconscious. The root of our fears and our feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, constant sense of guilt, loneliness, sense of abandonment, too much wounding, aggression, and non-acceptance of ourselves and others often lies in childhood.
At any age, we have a little girl or boy in each of us who longs for love and attention, that can be scared, uncertain and may need support. This is the so-called inner child. The inner child is the emotional part in us. The grown up is acting and our inner child is alive inside. Our behavior, our reactions are entirely guided by what the inner child in us feels. We subconsciously design our child's needs in the present and require our partner or friends to satisfy them.
If a child was hurt when it grows up, it always feels a need for a protector. If it has been rejected or neglected, it will always require attention and the approval of others. In order to gain the necessary attention, it can even show aggression. If the people around you criticized you and offended you, if they underestimated you, you subconsciously continue to do it now, following your parents' or friends’ patterns.
From my experience and observations, I have repeatedly convinced myself how many of our barriers and problems come from our childhood and how much influence our parents and people around us have on our psyche and our entire lives. If you were ashamed or guilty as a child, if you were feeling insecure, unprepared and unprejudiced, if your parents were too strict or overly compliant, that definitely affects everything you are attracting and experiencing now.
Of course, there is no point in blaming our parents and fate, there is no point in regretting ourselves. Because, as Louise Hey says:
"No matter what your early childhood was - whether the best or the worst - you and only you are answering your life now."
A wonderful method of healing the traumas of the past is working with the Inner Child. This is a powerful tool that is used to detect the hidden areas in our subconscious, stumbling our lives, and turning us into a closed circle. Once we find them, we can free up the negative emotions, give ourselves what we need, convert our constraining beliefs and begin our lives purely.
How do we get in touch with our inner child?
First of all, we need to feel it, to realize its existence within us and to allow it to express itself. It needs our acceptance, understanding and love. On the occasion of my love for myself, I recently read something in a forum that greatly impressed me. One boy asked, "Is it possible to love myself after I've never been loved?" And one of the participants in the forum said: "Yes, it is possible. That's another reason to love myself even more."
How true!
So if you were not loved in your childhood, that's another reason to take the child in you and give him all your love. It was enough to be deprived. Louise Hay recommends John Pollard III's book, "Parents of Myself", which includes exercises and activities with the inner child. The author of this book teaches us how to be parents of ourselves and give us everything we needed in our childhood but we’ve never received it. I have not yet found this book in my language (Bulgarian), but I think it would be extremely useful.
There are many ways to work with the inner child.
Here are some of them:
- Take your picture as a child - Look at the child of your picture. What do you see? Maybe sadness, maybe he feels alone, abandoned, or trapped? Maybe he wants someone to caress him, tell him something? Ask him what he is afraid of, what he needs. Visualize how you embrace this little child with all your love. Tell him the things you always wanted to hear, but no one ever told you. Let your inner child feel loved, surely accepted.
Another way is to talk to your inner child in front of the mirror - Stand in front of the mirror and imagine that you see the little child in the opposite direction. Recall the moments when you were hurt, ashamed or offended, feel what your inner child feels.
- Try to talk to him - if you come into contact with your inner child and tell him every day for one month that you accept and love him and believe him, it will bring a surprising change in all spheres of your life.
- You can also communicate with the child in writing - Write a letter to your inner child asking him what he wants, what he needs, what he feels and what would make him happy. And then with your left hand, which is non-dominating, answer, this time using another color chemical. Do not think what to answer, just let the memories invade, immerse yourself in the senses of the little child and let him write. This method brings to the surface a lot of information that you do not realize. You will be surprised when you see what you say in yourself. I have not tried this one, but it sounds interesting. Don’t you think?
- Let the child in you paint (with your left hand) - Here again do not think about what you will draw, just let the child in you express your feelings. Let your left hand scratch freely. See what will come out. This will help you realize the many negative feelings you have buried deep within yourself. You may also find something you did not even know about yourself, or at least you did not realize it.
- Meditation – This is what I have tried, this is what helped me. You just need to sit comfortably and start your regular meditation but your main priority needs to be connecting with your Inner Child. Image the child within, go and talk to him, ask him how it feels, you can even hug him. Believe me I did it, and there was a lot to talk about and lots of apologies to give. Tears came rolling down. They came, and came…
You can try this one if you are interested:
Heal your Inner Child: Guided Meditation
Louise Hay recommends experiencing the different stages of childhood through visualization and meditation. Let us organize a celebration of our birth, visualize our smiling parents, who enjoy us and overflow with happiness for having us, to feel how loved we are. If it is impossible for us to see loving parents, she advises us to find pictures of people who fit our concept of loving parents and put it around our picture as a child. Visualize your inner child with a smile, calmly under the care of your parents, happy and confident.
You can gradually move through the various stages of your childhood, focusing mostly on those stages in which you have had a lot of experiences. Be the best parent to yourself - the one you dreamed of having. Talk, for example, with yourself when you were 7, frightened when he first went to school, and nobody calmed him down. Tell him what you wanted to hear then. Talk with the teenager in you when he was injured or neglected. Hold him by hand, ask him what he wants now.
And most importantly, do not forget to tell him you love him.
Thank you for reading!
Sources:
Dreamland
HealYourLife
Images:
Pixabay
If you liked this post please upvote and resteem. I will also appreciate it if you share your opinion in the comments.
Great post! I think one key way to psychological well-being is being mindful, and focusing on the present moment. Its super important to attend to your emotions and thoughts and not fight with them as they arise.
Id LOVE feedback on my recent post about mindfulness if you are at all interested!
Thank you! I will check it out.
Problem with inner ichild is that it often behaves bratty...it remindes me of those scenes we see in movies when a kid is attaching paper with ,,kick me'' written on it on somebody's back. Then that unlucky guy is being kicked and he don't know why it's happening. I think it sums up that child modus operandi pretty well.
Maybe it would be best to don't have it inside, but since it's impossible to get rid of, we have to deal with it somehow...your post seems to be potentially helpful in that regard.
Upvoted and followed.
Mine doesn't behave bratty but it is hurt and surrounded by walls which often leads to issues in my everyday activities.
Thank you for your comment :)
Getting in touch and acknowledging yourself (your inner child) is such an important part in helping ourselves in so many ways. In trying to be happy, realizing what we really want out of life, and countless other ways. This is a great guide you've put together here to help others. Thanks so much for sharing. BTW, I am a curator with @ocd and would love to nominate your post.
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I really want to help more by posting quality content regarding self-help. These days more and more people feel like they have a void inside them and I would like to be one to help them find the ways to fill it.
Thank you for the nomination. Being a part of this would be great.
Checking @ocd now.