Let's talk about communication - spouses among themselves, parents with children, just even strangers.
Sometimes it's so hard to resist. We are frustrated, we say things that we sometimes do not regret, considering that we are absolutely right. But with such words we really offend people close to us.
I for a long time solved for myself a problem of self-control. I, too, is not an angel and sometimes I do not control what I say and HOW. And recently I read the phrase, which changed my mind very much in this matter.
She impressed me so much that I spent several days scrolling in her head, repeating like a prayer:
Before you tell it to someone, say it to yourself.
That's the whole secret. Tell it to yourself and understand how it feels.
In the kindergarten, the child slowly changes clothes, and his mother:
- Hurry up. Well, I tell anyone! Can not you hear? How slow you are.
Tell it to yourself! Like?
"How did you get me already with your hysterics!" And why did I only give birth to you?
Tell it to yourself!
Or try harder? - Are you, in general, stupid? Why are you so unskillful? You can not do anything by yourself!
"I'm busy, do not bother me." - Understand yourself, great already.
Every phrase - tell yourself. Feel.
Remember the child when he cries and what you say to him at that moment. And then remember yourself when you are crying and upset, and repeat these words to yourself - just when you are crying and upset.
"Stop hysterical!" Enough shouting!
Or the widespread "Close your mouth, but now ..."
You can say that the child cries trifles, but you have a serious reason. Does your husband consider your reasons serious? Maybe you are also crying just because of a moody character?
Or in relation to the spouse:
"I've already asked you a hundred times, will you ever do it or not?"
Tell it to yourself! I think in response you will hear "Of course, dear!" And after all the word - like a sparrow, will fly out, you will not catch ... Some insulting words crash into the memory of a person forever!
And now relax, think about your child and say - first to yourself, and then to him:
- I very love you! I'm so glad that you have me! I dreamed that I will have such a daughter!
Well, how does it feel?
Or, taking away from the kindergarten: "I so missed you! You are my dear! Come on, play together. "
"I adore you to hug and hold on the pens!", "Thank you for helping me," "Thank you for teaching me ..."
Any phrase - to a husband or child, or parents, if they live with you - only after the filter "Before you tell it to someone, say it to yourself!".
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