Very insightful post. I have lost both my parents. I lost my mom 10 years ago to brain cancer and she was my best friend. I miss her everyday and wish she were here to be an amazing grandma to my 8 year old son. I wish that I could ask her parenting questions. I try to raise him the way she raised me and hope everyday that they are both proud of who I am.
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You will find the strength you need to do what must be done.
There really is no manual with the do's and dont's for parenting,
trust your heart