@abigail-dantes...I wholeheartedly thank you for this post..
I believe that I myself, am a ruminator and I have had different phases regarding this issue.
The first phase was pure confusion, as to whenever I would deal with negative emotions, I would revel in the negativity and just dismiss it as me being a generally depressing person, yet everyone close to me tell me that I'm known for my constantly smiling composure.
The second phase was the hard struggle, where I would notice this phenomenon happening, but I would feel powerless to stop it, as I was so used to feeling down whenever it happened.
The most current phase was after an implosion of my feelings, which caused me to break down in tears in front of my mother while having a relatively normal conversation during dinner. I showed my greatest insecurities of piling all of my worries and taking hold of all the responsibilities in order to not let anyone else worry.
I sincerely thank you for helping me be more aware of my situation and what long terms things I need to do to help succeed in my long term aspirations.
This is a very kind, motivating comment @twotoedsloth! I have no words to thank you for taking the time to let me know the steps you went through during your inner-journey.
Having clarity about what is going on in our heads is definitely an important step on a journey out of that state. However, things only become clear to those who are willing to see it.
You show incredible self-awareness, and I have no doubt that you will soon see yourself breaking this pattern of thinking and enjoying higher levels of subjective well-being :)
All the best to you!
Thank you for your kind words!