Seriously, I just heard this genius way of responding to an insult so I had to share it with you. So simple yet so flawless. I can’t recall the source but if I find it I’ll add it to the post later.
As we all know very well, people hurt each other all the time, either physical or verbal, where the latter is more common, either indirect or direct, online or offline. We see it in relationships, among friends, at work, school, or when just walking pass someone on the street even you might end up sending someone a rude look or receiving one, out of the blue.
What we not always seem to remember, is that it has nothing to do with the offended person. It has exclusively everything to do with the person from where it comes. Those whom enjoy picking on others are people who's ignorant of or unwilling to accept the misery they themselves participate in within. Escaping their own suffering through pulling others down becomes the easy way out. (But really, guess what, it dosent work. It might give the person a sudden dopamine rush of happiness lasting for about 10-20 seconds, but then the mental state goes right back to where it were.)
I know that it might be hard to grasp when it happens and its difficult not get hurt.
Just stay objective and be prepared and it might turn out alright.
Here is the secret sauce I came across on how to respond,
Simply say,
"I'm perfectly willing to accept that." and move on.
Other possible ways to respond is
laugh dismissingly and give the person a funny look signaling like “what you just dit was really weird and I look at it as a big joke, poor you, I really feel sorry for you"
or pretend you didn’t hear it, and look or walk away (and laugh from the inside)
Absolutely do not attack back. It will probably just worsen the situation, cut even deeper, take a lot of energy and mental capacity and eat of your time. People who insult want attention, they want friction, so don’t give them what they want. Don't let them win.
To those of you who enjoy harassing others; it just digs your hole even deeper.
And also, having a bad day is no excuse for being rude and mean to others.
And yes, one last important thing for all of you who witness situations like this:
The one who stays silent agrees.
(images from David Shrigley)
I'd love to hear your take on this topic! Comment below if you'd like to make my day and share your thoughts :D
And as always, thank you for reading.
If enjoyed this piece of a post you can check out my others posts @yrja
or you can read about me in my intro post :)
Love,
Yrja
Yes, it's the right approach to it. I think there are many philosophies which encapsulate this way of living. I am reminded of the chinese Dao philosophy, or the proverb of "be water". If you attack back, yang meets yang, but if you let if flow right through you nothing happens.
Which would raise the point: is it perhaps more nothingness we should be doing? We always learn about the doing part, maybe it's time we learned the not-doing part.
On the other hand, anyone who has been in such a situation (virtually everybody), I think sees that it's not always so easy! Staying calm in such a situation reveals wisdom and life experience only very few have. There is this tantamount energy that is just so hard to let slip away--It is almost as if our body--our whole biological system--is programmed to respond.
But yes, I will try to keep my head cool the next time too ;)
Thank you for writing such a reflective comment :) Be water makes so much sense! In every part of life!! Stay fluid and you'll stay calm, flexible, stable, open and strong! Like the river carving many parts.
"Which would raise the point: is it perhaps more nothingness we should be doing? We always learn about the doing part, maybe it's time we learned the not-doing part." As you say, we always learn the doing part. But perhaps just be, and not make to much ado and fuzz about anything I think you'll stay way more content in life and less stressful.
It's not easy. staying calm takes a lot of wisdom and being secure in one self... thats correct. but perhaps for those who's not self-secure at all one can learn to stay calm by faking that you are are calm, trying to trick yourself to master such situations. Have a wonderful day - nice to meet you @tobetada!!
What exactly do you mean by faking wisdom and self-security? That seems rather like building a house on sand--it's going to collapse eventually.
I think true self-confidence can only arise out of self-knowing. And that requires a deep insight into your Self. "Who are you?". If you can answer this question then wisdom and self-knowing come about naturally.
oh perhaps I didn't make my self clear enough @tobetada I didn't mean faking wisdom :) Just faking you are calm even if you aren't:) Perhaps eventually you'll be able to stay more and more calm just by practising.
Wow !
Nice and useful article .
Upvoted !
Cool @akkha! Happy to give you some value :D
Thank you so much @yrja !
<3 :D
That is such a great idea! I will try that next time someone insults me! haha
@susanne ! Haha! Yes!
I like that idea. I agree also with the idea of not attacking back. You see it often online like on YouTube where someone leaves a snarky, trollish comment and then the person responds and just makes the situation worsen!
Yes, that is soo mean, but that often just mirror the person who does it. People who does that are most likely miserable with their life situation and themselves. Not the kind of people you'd like to listen to anywayas !!!
Thanks for dropping me a comment <3 !! Wish you a nice evening :)
Really great read!
Glad to hear you enjoyed @zachspain ! Thanks for reading :D