< Rant >
I hate my skin, hate it so much that on some days, I feel like setting myself on fire.
I’m doing everything right, everything. I sleep better and more regularly than ever before, I switched to a silk pillow case, which is more gentle to aggravated skin, and try not to smush my face into the pillow most of the times. I eat fairly heathy, mostly vegan and I have been avoiding dairy and sugar very well. I am not stressed 24/7, my periods are regular, and I have the best skincare stuff money can buy. I don’t wear makeup every day and I try to avoid touching my face unnecessarily. Yet my skin is in the worst condition It has ever been in. It makes no fucking sense, none! I’m so frustrated and angry at my body. Why can it not work!?
It’s tragic that I had a lot better skin when my died consisted of soda, french fries and candy FOR YEARS, though, I was on birth control back then. The side effects of that were fun tho, never felt horny and I was even a bigger mental case than I am now. But at least my skin was alright. So think about that, think what my body is trying to tell me, and can you see how little sense it makes and why I am so angry at it.
This fucking sack of shit body makes no sense, and science has yet to discover what really causes acne and how it can be treated, some people are just genetically more prone to having it. Skin is our largest organ, and when it’s sick, it’s pretty bad. There are birth control pills and antibiotics that can possibly help, but that is just treating the problem with poison, without getting to the root of what causes these problems. I don’t believe in masking problems with medication, without trying to figure out what causes the problems. I am not willing to eat antibiotics with horrible side effects or birth control that can lead to cancer and even make me barren. I wish so badly that someone could tell me exactly what causes my skin problems, and how to treat it. Having a balanced healthy life is usually the answer to everything, but it’s not working, and I’m getting desperate.
I’m almost 30 and I’m now suffering from acne a lot worse than it was during my teenage years. I’m tired of fighting this every day. On some odd days, my skin looks like the human skin, and it makes me so damn happy. I feel so good, I feel I look like a million bucks and I could run the world. But alas, it’s only every now and then. I pretty much think that I would be happy if I had good skin.
People with acne are the only ones that can understand this, so everyone else can shut the fuck up, okay. And acne is not something you go through for a few months as a teenager, and acne is not having a pimple here and there. It’s cystic, persistent and it’s not something you can cover with makeup. You can cover discolouration, but you can’t cover texture. I’m also well aware that my acne is not the worst kind there is, there are people with a lot more severe acne, but for me, it’s really bad, because I of course compare it to what it has been before.
I want to shed my old, acne riddled, scarred, atopic skin like a snake and reveal a shiny and beautiful new skin underneath it. I just want to wake up with good skin, even moderately good skin, something that a little makeup can make look really nice. I am not expecting to have zero pimples, no visible pores and perfect skin, but something that doesn’t make me want to rip it off every morning.
One of the worst things with acne is that even when you try not to think about it, you are reminded of it because it hurts when you move your face, or when you touch your face and feel all the bumps, constantly reminding that it is there, even if you are not staring at yourself in the mirror. Some days I refuse to leave the house or see anyone because I have a really bad skin day. I miss out on a lot of life experiences because of my skin, which is ridiculous, I know.
I feel like stabbing people who say that you just have to be confident and that acne doesn’t make anyone less attractive, or that looks don’t matter at all. That is such a load of bullshit and if you really think so, then I have no use for you in my life. Nobody looks good with acne and I don’t believe for a second that someone is comfortable with having acne. Acne is something that can make people go through horrible depression, it is no joke.
For me and my chosen career in front of the camera, acne has an even bigger role in life than it potentially has for someone else with acne. I love to do self portrait photography, and I hate that I can’t do it on some days because my skin is so bad. You have no idea how many otherwise great pictures I have had to discard because no amount of makeup or photoshopping would rescue them. The way I use available light in my photography, can easily emphasise the horrible texture of the skin. The only way sometimes would be to take a skin craft from my thigh and and put it on my cheek to make it work, but I don’t have photoshop skills that good.
Now that I talk about this subject, you will say that I look awesome and that I'm overreacting, and that my skin is near perfect. Of course it looks like that here, because I refuse to show my skin at it's worst, and the pictures you see are on good skin days, in good light, and with makeup and photoshop.
Please refrain from every and all advice in the comment section. I don’t want your advice on a secret Mayan tip for a turmeric mask that will magically make my skin better, or how I should stop wearing makeup or stop washing my skin. None of your tips will work, trust me, I have tried it all. I have done so much research into skin that you have no idea, and nothing you put on top of the skin, is going to make acne go away, and unless you severely burn your skin, nothing you put on top won’t make it much worse either. What ever you put on top of your skin, is treating the existing problems, but with almost every skin concern, the root cause is somewhere inside. So basically I am rotten inside.
< /Rant >
Ah, always feel a little better after a good rant session.
I know the feeling, I've been suffering from acne for about 10 years now and it's the worst, isn't it? As you say, it's a hormonal thing and I have quite weirded-out hormones, so...I get it. I know, it's normal as a teenager, but when most to all the other kids around you have great skin it drives you insane.
Also, I won't tell you that X works for me (sometimes, arghh, I wish it would now!) because I know it doesn't work that way - trust me, I've been stopped on the street a lot by kindly old ladies mostly dying to share with me their ancient secrets about clear skin. And nothing.
So, this is just a comment to say I hear ya, sister.
I hope it clears up soon!! <3
Maaaan, it is good to rant!
This hits close to home, having had my fair share of the condition too, now carrying the scars resulting of it. Though I've been lucky because for some reason going gluten-free has kept it somewhat under control. Actually went fully gluten, milk and sugar free at one point, but now I've been just keeping going on gluten-free and fortunately I've not had a bad breakout for a long time now.
It's really just terrible to suffer from it. Even when I was gluten-free I still had an occasional cyst appear and I felt so powerless thinking what have I done wrong, if I had eaten some wrong food or something.
So yeah, I feel you on this one.
I'm so happy to hear you found out what works for you and got it under control. I have been avoiding all three too, but not to the point of quitting everything cold turkey. I've done a good few weeks without them, but because I didn't see an improvement, I go FUCK IT, and eat everything, which of course is not good at all.
It's just feels so unfair that you have to use so much time and energy into thinking what you can and can not eat, in the hopes of having good skin. Most people can just eat pretty much what ever and be fine. My main thing regarding skin right now is to try and not to do too much to it, not to aggravate it and try and be more positive. Thinking constantly about the bad skin, is only going to lead to more of it.
Yeah, it can create a nasty vicious cycle. Hopefully it gets better.
Hei mut...voithan sä ajatella kuitenkin silleen positiivisesti! Sun iho ei oo läheskään huonointa sussa ;D pus pus saatana.
Kiitos rakas kannustuksesta<3
Same. I have to wait for my skin to clear up before I even think about snapping new photos. 😒
I hope it heals soon, I love seeing you in front of the camera!
Thanks! You too!
Yeah it kinda sucks because two weeks ago I was fine but I wasn’t in the mood to take pictures. Totally regret it now! 🙄
Totally sucks when inspiration, motivation and good skin days don't go hand in hand!
I won’t say that you look awesome, because I don’t think so. No one with acne looks awesome. I know how you feel because I’ve had some acne too before, but for now I don’t.
when my died consisted of soda, french fries and candy FOR YEARS, though, I was on birth control back then.
You are eating, sleeping and so on right now so for your body it is a green light to get out all of that toxins from these periods of drinking, eating crap and taking pills, you are just in a detox period and these are the symptoms of it. This will end at some point(if you continue being a good girl 😁), but it may take a lot of time and if you want this period to end faster then you should consider giving up food for some days. Read more about fasting. And yes, it is suitable even for skinny people, I am quite skinny myself. By fasting I mean dry fast, water fast, fruit fast, juice fast and so on. It is natural to cleanse yourself by not eating and it cures countless “diseases”. Most of the diseases are just symptoms of toxicity. I am practicing it from time to time and my skin becomes like new. I am ready to bet all my steem money that if you do it right all your acne problems will disappear. :) Have a great evening and good luck!
Yeah well this getting rid of toxins has been going on for a good year so.... I do actually fast quite often, and I never plan it, it just happens when I'm busy and inspired with working on something and can't be bothered to eat.
I suffered of skin problems when i was a teen, it was an hell, i always felt ugly and also with the right make up i never felt cute maybe grotesque, now things are better i use good skin lotions and also if in some moments ( during my period or when i am stressed) my skin still not look good, actually i noticed that my skin get better when i put on some weight ewhen i was very skinny my skin were a disaster, hormons maybe? I do not know what suggest to you, maybe a doctor consulence, my old doctor suggest me the right skin daily routine and a good skin lotion and it helped me a lot ^^ I feel less ugly now, by the way you are right i still see a pretty girl in your photo, and i truly envy your body you seems slim and cool!
I'm happy that you got rid of your acne, also jealous. Skin has a lot to do with hormones, so it is really not about the skincare routine, I know that. People who claim that some products cured their skin, are either lying or don't know that the change was actually something to do with internal stuff, like getting older and hormones balancing.
You are irresistible nonetheless and at least acne is something that can be fixed in photoshop (actually paintshop here) and/or lighting. Send me your portrait and I can edit it for you :)
There is no photoshop and perfect lighting in real life, asshole. And with all due respect, my photography and photoshop skills are so much better than yours, so thanks but no thanks for offering your help.
Sorry, I was referring to this sentence, should have posted my mental context:
I think you are exaggerating a bit, but I love your rant sessions :)
that was terrible. i really hope that rant made you feel better.
Well it is almost Halloween, gotta add my horror stories to the mix.
but you aware, some people are just ugly (acne or no acne) and they live with it, or even reproduce, right? And that i like you for your fuckin personality, not your looks? it would make me feel better if you knew :P
Yes, I know that. But I don't want to be ugly, okay? I don't give a shit about people liking me or not liking me, I want to like myself, because that is really the only thing that matters.
and you are not. although i am aware that acne makes you feel you are, and that's also valid. The state when i like myself even when i'm ugly is very comforting. Maybe try that. Acne can be pain in the ass i guess, so don't make that shit worthy enough to ruin your day or whatever. otherwise the terrorists win ;)
It's never going to happen. My looks matter to me, and there is nothing that is going to change that, other than fixing the actual problem at hand.
so i wish you well on your quest.
I’m with you. I break out way more in adulthood than I ever did as a teenager.
You know I feel bad for guys because you can't even use makeup to help you out. Or you can, but it usually just looks way worse.
I just live with it.
One of my main problems is that I like to pick at my face and make it look 200X worse.
You and me both. It's so hard to not touch it and then you have to wait for ages for the wounds to heal, which is even worse than waiting for the actual breakouts to heal.
Then you still pick it anyway?
That’s what I do lol.
Like with any scab, it's so fucking satisfying to pick at them! 😅
Preach sister 🙏
Thinking outside of the box (pun intended)...
https://www.medicaldaily.com/extraordinary-things-you-can-do-sperm-242190
Fuck you 😂
Check out this post: https://www.cernovich.com/red-skin-syndrome-surviving-hell/
No.
Drink lime water every morning.
No.
Have you ever tried it?
Yes. Makes no difference in any way or shape.
Been there, done that. My skin was a mess , my mind in shambles, IBS each and every day for six years. Finally those problems vanished and my skin got much much better after bioidentical hormone replacement. No nasty side effects. Just back to be balanced and feeling good. Just do a little bit of research. It might be the solution. If hormones are out of whack it could result in all sorts of health issues. Wish I would have known that earlier. Wish you all the best :)
Well this is something I haven't heard of before, interesting. But when I start googling it, a lot of things about menopause come up, and I don't think that is what I am going through 😂
You do not have to be in menopause. Hormonal inbalance can literally hit everyone. Younger women, older women, men. Check out amazon for further reading about that topic and how to find a specialist. You might see an endocrinologist who is specialized in bioidentical hormone replacement. According to my bunch of symptoms I have been hormonally imbalanced all my adult life, apart from my teens which were a true hormonal battlefield.
Yeah, I just thought is was funny. I'm sure I have hormonal imbalance, too much testosterone, there is just that I would like to correct it naturally, with a good diet and healthy lifestyle.
Im 45 and I still have some acne, its improved in the last 10 years though but every so often I get a bad breakout.
I have some scars on my neck and cheeks, but fuck it I'm no oil painting anyway.
I think for women the perception is probably worse. It might not be attractive, but anyone worth your time won't give a shit.
I am not that worried about what other people think of me, it really is to do with me wanting to really really like myself and be the best version of myself.
Love yourself, you are worth it ;)
I do, but it doesn't mean that there are things I want to improve.
When I was young, I had acne, I could reduce it by doing a solar lamp once a week...
...I know that solar lamps are harmful to health, but it helped me...
I did a lot of sunbathing last summer, and usually it helps a lot with my skin, this time only a little.
Skin problem is way different than other physical problems. Our species has too deep and instinctive relation with textures. Many animals also like that cause feeling of texture for most animals are crucial to survice in nature. Skin condition (texture) gives the animal alot of information about the owner. Thats why we tent not to eat animals with bad looking skin or even fruits with deformed surface. We are programmed to feel comfort with smooth, clean looking and bright surfaces. Thats why we wear such clothes that compatible with these instinct, thats why we paint inside our houses with smooth bright colors. They all remind us clean, healthy and more importantly "safe" environment. Thats why many animals including us scare from snake skin instinctively. Like many poisonous animals snakes have colorful and complex skin texture (geometric not uniform).
So why I told all these? Not your fuckin business. Cause I wanted it so. Nobody can understand or create an empathy with a person who has a skin problem. Thats for sure because of the deep connections with our nature which I fuckin tried to explain.
My advice will be ( yes I will give a fucking advice so what go fuck yourself) to see a dermatologist. You may already saw one or two or three I dont give a fuck see another one cause not all doctors are same. They told me I have a sun allergia for 15 years and one doctor after some 30 seconds observation told me its not allergia it is because of a bacteria and cured it with one simple but special antibiotic and all gone. Dont trust doctors see another one till you find the answer. if all doctors finish in your fuckin country go another one, only idiots can think it can be cured by diet or skin cleaning, these shits are for already healthy skins.
The answer is out there, go fuckin find it and take a fuckin photo of it.
(ok I may have a bad day today) so what? you fuckin ...
First of all, I'm having a bad day too, so let's just have a match, right here, right now! I bet I could beat your ass!
What you said about animals and textures is interesting and makes sense, it's not something I have ever thought of before.
I actually hate doctors, they don't know me, they don't know what I do and what I am, because I might not even be human. They want a quick fix and in with the next patient. I believe in doing my own research because only I can know my history and habits and how different things effect me personally.
Not everything can be fixed with a healthy lifestyle, but most thing can be, and I still believe I can do it. I'm just frustrated, which makes matters worse for the skin. I probably have way too much testosterone in me, pretty much everything points to that direction, and I don't want to take medication for it, I want to fix it naturally.
And you grudge me to give any fuck you's, god I wrote all for nothing.
how self confident you are about this healing shit. Fuck it. Of course it would be nice to cure it naturally. Did you? So fuckin try everything, you dont know maybe the solution is simple. Doctors issue is as I said I dont trust them and definitely I dont do everything they say (especially if they all say the same and nothing happens). But no need to underestimate the experience of them. We are not so unique we have pretty alot common sides. Dont threat yourself like the only and last member of your species. 7.5 billion outhere and all have skin. Believe me when it is cured the feeling is beyond any orgasm you can imagine.
If you have too much testosterone start building some muscle then. Your bicep femoris needs some training.
I'm all out of ancient Mayan tumeric acne tips but I WILL say this...Legit photo! Oops, not legit....Damn it I can't stop saying that word. :)
@eveuncovered one thing further...We are all only ever able to be ourselves, and that's enough. Just saying. We are all flawed and imperfect but it's those imperfections that make us perfectly unique.
I'm perfectly unique without the acne too, no need to have that as an added character.
Yes, of course you are. I'm not trying to justify acne. I'm sorry, maybe I should have said something else.
I have nothing but sympathies to offer. I can only point out the known fact that the symptoms are known to diminish with age even when they persist well into adulthood as in your case. At the very least, the physical discomfort on the bad days should no longer be as bad.
I am almost 35... and I have the same problem... and I have also tried everything... and also feel the same anger! Not much more to say, I understand Your feelings...
Didn't you just move to a different area/climate? A change in humidity, mold, spores, dust, and pollen may be a contributing factor (most of which you can't do much about). Skin and the natural bacteria that lives on/in it, can react in weird ways. ...maybe the solution is to move to the tropics.
Yeah, I moved two kilometres and pollution in Finland is really not a thing. No mould in either of these apartments. Sun helps my skin a little but didn't heal it what so ever, I was in Thailand in the spring, and the summer in Finland was really awesome too, neither of which made much difference.
I'd hate having gray skin too.
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OHHHH we have a funny one here 😈
I can feel your pain. That last line...I really felt that. I won’t tell you it’s going to be okay or that you’re beautiful nonetheless (it is and you are, but that doesn’t help right now). Just know that you’re not alone. I struggle with this too. Sometimes more and sometimes less. At 48 it’s a drag to have to work on acne and wrinkles at the same time. I take antibiotics for months at a time to help me with this. Then it still comes back. It has generally gotten better for me with age if that gives you any hope. Hugs
In your post, you never mentioned the time you sleep everyday. All the best food, best skincare routines, best water quality and even best weather in the world won't help if one doesn't sleep early like before 11 pm. The liver works best between 11pm to 2am to detoxify optimally. I wrote weather because I live in the tropics and I broke out a lot easier here compared to places like New Zealand or South Korea. The weather in the tropics is somehow more conducive for bacterial growth. Do you smoke? Smoking causes skin dehydration.
An insecure person has a habit of exaggerating their physical disabilities, which surrounding people may not notice at all.
We often see ourselves in a distorted light. Stop striving to be perfect. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are beautiful in your uniqueness. :)
Go fuck yourself in the life where you settle for mediocracy and never try to improve yourself in any shape or form.
OMG... Where did you get so much bile?
Rejoice in the fact that you are, that you are loved, desired and necessary for those who play special roles in your life, your appearance is not the main thing in life.
From people who comment to a post that they didn't read or understand, and act all high and mighty when giving advice about a subject they have no idea of.
It's scary to imagine what would happen to you if you had more serious health problems than acne. Be kind to others and stop being unflattering and maybe one day you'll get rid of your illness. The anger you throw at people is your appearance.