Two days ago I wore my heart on my sleeve as I often do and many people thought that I was “burned out”. I can’t really deny that but I’ve been burnt out for 100 years, this is nothing new, and it’s not nearly as serious as you think. I just don’t censor what I say unless I have legitimate reason to do so for safety or convenience reasons. For some reason, making you all think that I’m not a basket case does not seem to register as a good enough reason.
Perhaps I want you to know that I’m a basket case. Perhaps the reason for this is that if I don’t, you’ll fool yourself into seeing me as a guru, as people do from time to time. You may think I am a bit immodest in saying this but when I have my shit together, I really really have my shit together. I’ve tasted the divine, been drunk off it for months at a time. I have walked between worlds. I have what you are seeking.
And I still fall apart sometimes.
I know many like myself who pretend they don’t. They make a living as life coaches or as respected leaders in their fields, and rightfully so. But where they keep their breakdowns to themselves, I don’t like how that feels. If you respect me, you deserve to know that I’m as vulnerable and imperfect as anyone. And I hope that you can still see how well I am at playing in the infinite.
I am a teacher and what I teach is independence from the teacher. I destroy the guru. I am a leader who leads away from the idea of leaders. It may not be the greatest business model, but it’s what I am good at. I break the stage, the mic, the image. I want you to know that nothing is outside your reach.
And so part of that is showing the best and worst of me with little care for how marketable or presentable it may be. I want to build myself up in your mind only to set myself on fire so that you that nothing is extraordinary....except for everything!
You can write 100 beautiful songs right this moment if you let yourself flow.
I know I sound like I have some kind of god complex here, but you would too if you knew how utterly incredible you were.
So I hit a bump in the road. That’s all. And I love you for noticing and caring. You are such beautiful expressions of being and I hope you stay in my life. I hope you never run from this self that perpetually lights itself afire. And if you do, I’ll do my best to love you anyway. ❤️
Feel me?
Feel you. 100%. Be KIND to yourself. The full cup can give more freely and abundantly. Burnout is NOT healthy long term - and it's not just about how you feel but the damage it does to your body and your organs from sustained cortisol toxicity. Step back from that computer and go get some nice IRL. Hugs.
Awww sending you virtual hugs @whatamidoing. 😊
Just one beautiful song would be enough you iconoclast.
Love you. this post reminds me why I follow you - it's beautifully written and crazy and gorgeously you all at the same time. You are drunk on life and I love you for it. And sometimes you're not, and I love you for that as well. You are god. I am goddess. Let's be friends forever.
True that, in a way similar to how people present themselves on social media in general ( Instagram and Facebook 'filters' )
I reckoned the above was the case. Thanks for sharing this though.
P.S. I am a no filter guy but I plead guilty for even spreading positive vibes ( at times ) when I'm not really feeling them. Lately though, they have come pretty naturally and abundantly.
Would be fun to catch up one of these days, buddy. It has been a while :<)
When I went to a tiny city in the country which shall not be named for a little performance at an amusement park for country bumpkins (lol) I had a lot of diarrhea. The food was sooooo spicy and without any flavors so it just hurt.
The locals would say 以毒攻毒 which means fight "poison with poison" which meant "eat more chili and drink more alcohol and your body will get stronger".
I don't usually like this attitude but I suppose I feel that way about negativity sometimes, especially when it comes out as sarcasm and just sounds so ridiculous you want to laugh. I suppose that's why I decided on the name "self help for trolls". I feel like the darkness inside needs to indulge itself a little bit in order to be released. As long as it doesn’t indulge and cling on.
You looked/sounded totally burnt out XD You also seem to relight/grab a new candle right quick. Oh you even said something to that effect at the end there we go.
You're a basket case? A woven basket? I like woven baskets the best, they look cool and they last forever (but sometimes can get prickly if they wear out in places and then should probably be repaired so they don't fall apart). Or are you a case that baskets are kept in? Are they supposed to be kept in cases when they're not being used?
How's your bump, all good now? :)
I'm sorry I'm silly
Get back in your fucking hole, trash.
Woah!
That was supposed to be funny because of the crassness juxtaposed against the wholesome nature of the post. In retrospect, I can see how written words can lack the necessary inflection to convey sarcasm and be taken the wrong way.
Here is a picture of a cat riding a fire breathing unicorn.