Why do we have sex?

in #sex7 years ago

You'd think the answer to this question would be obvious. After all, let's face it -- sex is a biological imperative. And if it didn't feel so good, we humans probably wouldn't have it nearly as often as we do. (Cats are a whole other story.)

But while sex might be alluring, science says it doesn't sell. According to a meta-analysis conducted by the University of Illinois, people who saw advertisements with "sexual appeals" remembered the ad, but not necessarily what it was trying to sell. And while yes, men liked these kinds of ads better than women, they were no more likely to buy the product being advertised.

On the other hand, James Evans, a marketing CEO and a Baltimore native, has a different take on sex in advertising. His marketing research -- the result of focus groups, personal interviews, and Internet surveys -- shows, among other things, that the threat of losing one's ability to have sex is a powerful deterrent for gang violence with a younger demographic.

What made Evans's marketing campaign different?

While sex is widely appreciated, it's not the end-all and be-all for most people. There are other things they may prioritize, such as money, love, and travel. The catch, however, is that many of these alternatives are long-term dreams -- something they either have to work towards or at least wait for. What happens, however, when people can't visualize a joyful, distant future for themselves?

The answer is simple -- Evans laid it out perfectly:

“What does an 18 year old value? [...] Eighteen-to-20-year-old men value their freedom. They value their sex, their sex drive. … They value the fact that they can play basketball or run or jump or beat someone up. They do not want to be in a wheelchair.”

In other words, people who don't see a future for themselves care about whatever happiness they have in the present.

What can we glean from this insight?

When I first came across this article, I wondered how I could apply that insight to my own circumstances. Unlike those adolescents in Baltimore, I can and do imagine a future for myself -- or at least I act like I do. I'm married. I have long-term investments. I'm setting myself up for better careers opportunities by furthering my education.

And yet...whenever I try to imagine myself more than a few years in the future, I hit a wall. Will I be a homeowner? Have kids? Move to another city? Start a business? The answers seem to hover just out of reach. But sex is an ever-present balm to that uncertainty. It's something I will always have ready access to, either from my husband or from other partners. Moreover, it's at its most satisfying when my mind empties and all that's left is raw sensation.

Perhaps it's all true; perhaps I choose to focus on sex because I can't predict what my future holds. But does the fact that it's an escape make it an undesirable behavior? Is wanting multiple concurrent sexual partners unhealthy?

I guess only time will tell.
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I hear ya'. I start to panic just looking a month into the "future", and I see....?? What? Where is the lit footpath? It's the best thing, to just put it all out of my mind. And I understand what you say about focusing on sex because you can't predict what the future holds. It's an effective strategy, even when done solo. An undesirable behavior? I guess it depends on who you ask: that is to say whoever is affected by it.
And time? Yeah, time will reveal the answers...whenever it's good and ready.
sigh
Batteries are gonna' get expensive for me.
Upvoted and resteemed for---familiar feels.

I appreciate your comments; it can be intimidating to be vulnerable to anyone who reads them, even with a digital smokescreen.

I planned on writing an academic-ish piece and it turned into a very personal post. Those usually turn out to be the best ones.

Great read, sex is awesome. I wish great things for your blog. Keep sharing! up-voted a bunch of your articles, I like your cuntent :p

Thanks for the upvotes (and the pun!). I look forward to reading your future comments -- you seem like you would provide a different, and interesting, perspective.

Why do people have sex when you can just smell cologne?"