Wow. It sounds like you have lived through a lot of heartache and difficult times. I can’t begin to imagine would it must be like as a parent or a sibling to deal with a missing person case.
I wish I could say that I’m a good speaker, but I’m not. It takes me a while to compose my thoughts. Often, when I should speak, I don’t, or can’t, because I don’t have the right words at the right time, and my silence is considered rude or inappropriate.
Since coming to Japan and learning to bridge cultural differences and cultural expectations, and maybe just from becoming older and more experienced, I’ve come to understand when it’s better to say something, anything really, rather than remain quiet and in search of the right words.
Thank you for sharing your stories with me.
Wow, do I ever relate to this:
Except, far too often, I do blurt something out. Always regrettable. If you can find a safe platitude or innocuous comment - YOU GO!! - and I need to remember the Mortification of Silence along with saying the "safe," neutral, helpful things, not the terrible "OMG, how awful, your dad is dead" type of outburst.
Cultural differences and expectations - yes!
Americans are known for being blunt, with not enough of a social filter.
Going back to those 1800s Henry James novels...
Thanks for the kind words and oh-so-relatable confessions.